“For now, I’m just going to grow it out. It feels brittle, like too many bleach jobs have stripped my hair. I think it needs a break. I was thinking about getting it cut soon anyway.” I pull at my long hair. Naturally, it’s a dark chestnut, which is something that’s showing around my roots. If I cut away all the blonde, there should be enough left to gather it into a ponytail, but not much. I planned to give it another month or two before hacking it off. It was startling to see when I caught sight of myself in the mirror for the first time. The blonde has started to grow on me, but not enough to want to keep it long term.
“It’s gotten so long.” Her fingers wind their way around the ends before she’s tugged back into place again. She narrows her eyes at the stylist, but thinks better of it.
Vivian points at the door, where a garment bag is hanging, and winks. She did promise to loan me something for tonight's formal affair. The dress glitters as I reach out to touch it. It’s a sleeveless gown that is a blue ombre, from light blue at the top down to a midnight blue at the bottom. It’s a slim cut that leaves nothing to the imagination, with a plunging illusion neckline. I turn to look at Vivian and she shrugs.
“I got it for something or other and never wore it. I think you will look amazing in it though.” She smiles behind her glass of champagne, only setting it down when she’s scolded by the make-up artist working on the wedding “trial” look. Vivian offers next to no commentary, seeming to care little about how she looks. Her wedding is about her marriage to Jack and I think she would be happy to walk down the aisle to him in a paper bag.
It feels like we’re back at our sorority formal, helping each other get ready. Except instead of changing into cheap dresses we found in a thrift store, we’re putting on dresses found on the racks of Nordstrom or a posh designer. She’s more excited to get me ready, zipping me up and directing the stylists on how she wants my hair and make-up done.
Vivian is wearing what can only be described as a wedding dress. It’s an a-line gown with a chiffon skirt, a lace bodice with no back, and finger loops hooking the long sleeves over her hands. The gown is elegant and understated. I am so glad that we reconnected so that I get to see her on her wedding day. Looking at Vivian now, I can see what a beautiful bride she’s going to be.
Charlie and Jack arrive straight from work together. We can hear their voices in the hallway talking business before they even walk through the door.
“I’m telling you, this is a good company and we need to act while we can.” Jack’s voice is urgent as he gives a server his coat.
Charlie hands off his coat, with thanks, while holding onto his laptop bag. “And all I’m saying is let's wait until the new year,” he insists.
Jack’s eyes find his fiancé first and he lets out a big whoosh of air as he takes in the sight of her. “God, I am the luckiest man alive. I feel like it’s bad luck seeing you in this,” he says, walking over to her. There is no hesitation as he kisses her passionately. Jack’s arm snakes around her waist, the other holding the base of her neck as he dips her backward, following her body with his.
I can’t help but smile. As much as Jack hates me, he loves my friend more. At the end of the day, that’s what really matters: how they feel about each other. Connor was an alright guy, but this is clearly where her heart is meant to be.
I look and find Charlie’s eyes devouring the sight of me. There is a slit in the skirt, which comes up my thigh, showing the very bottom of the pink puckered skin that is my scar. He walks over to me, his fingers grazing that spot gently. It sends a thrill up my spine, feeling the brush of his skin against mine.
“I have to disagree, Jack,” he whispers, the words meant only for me. The fire in his eyes makes me wish we were anywhere but here, especially after the letdown the night before. Charlie’s movements are controlled as his hand slides up the nape of my neck, gently urging me toward him. I lean up to kiss him on the mouth and his tongue slips into my mouth, flicking against my tongue. My hands go to his hips and I pull him against me, feeling him stiffen.
“Seriously, you two, this is my engagement party,” Jack whines.
Charlie and I break apart, breathless and grinning, eyes only for the other.
Vivian hits Jack, an equally wide smile on her face. “Jack, let them be happy,” she scolds. Jack’s blue eyes linger on Vivian before he casts them to me, still distrusting.
Charlie pulls me close to his side. “What can we do to help finish setting up?”
“Just the favors are left.” Vivian doesn’t seem concerned as she says it. Charlie dumps his laptop in their bedroom, so we can help finish setting up the favors and gift table.
“I didn’t bring a gift,” I whisper to him, embarrassed. I hadn’t thought about needing one. Hindsight being what it is, it was dumb of me not to think about it. Charlie reaches into his suit jacket, flashing a crisp white envelope. My body nearly sags in relief.
“All over it.” His sultry voice earns him a quick kiss on the cheek. I’m full of nervous energy waiting for people to arrive. My glass of champagne is my body armor as people slowly start to trickle in. Here, a law school friend of Vivian’s whom I vaguely remember; there, some friends from college who I thankfully remember; and then, Charlie takes great pride in introducing me to his college friends. His arm is wrapped around me, steadying me, holding me close to reassure me that I’m not alone in this sea of unfamiliar faces.
“We missed you at Homecoming,” one of them says pointedly, after politely acknowledging me. Eyes flit over me, not giving me much more attention than that. The accident is another thing I hadn’t considered coming up while we were at the party and I wish I had a chance to talk to Charlie about how we were going to address it.
“I was playing nurse all fall. I hit Elia with my car after work one day and she’s been staying with me while she recovers.” His arm tightens as he presses a kiss to the top of my head.
“So you brought your community service project to the engagement party?” some girl asks, confusion and disgust registering on her face.
I fight the urge to pull out of Charlie’s grasp, to separate myself from him. He’s stuck trying to justify me to his friends, who don’t seem to understand what hitting me has to do with my presence here.
“Actually, we’re dating.” His tone is annoyed. “And she’s Vivian’s friend.” If Charlie pulls me any closer to his side, our hips might actually fuse together.
I plaster on a fake smile and excuse myself the first chance I get. I seek out Vivian, who is chatting with some of our sorority sisters.
I need friendly faces, and not only are these women familiar, but they hug me and tell me they’ve missed me. Vivian did the hard part, telling them I was in an accident and didn’t remember the last few years. I was grateful for the cover, tired of having to tell the story for the fifth, sixth, or seventh time tonight.
It’s easy enough to cover my missing time with them since it’s unlikely I’ve seen them since shortly after graduating college. We make the usual small talk, catching up before Vivian slides off to her other guests. They’re all in varying stages of life; many married, some with kids, and they all seem happy, and genuinely glad to see me. When the conversation shifts to child rearing and pregnancy, I slip away to grab another drink.
Charlie is mingling with a group of men I haven’t met, but his raucous laughter reaches me across the room. My lips twist in a smile and I drop into a chair that looks out on their patio and farther, the park itself. My leg burns from standing on it in heels for so long.
I reason with myself that no one is setting me apart from everyone else, I am doing that to myself. Charlie and Vivian both want me here. Hell, even Jack “wants” me here because Viv does. Charlie finds me across the room, offering me a wink, and I know that I need to get off my sorry ass and join him. I can’t let my own insecurities get to me. I may not have gone to a college covered in ivy, but it doesn’t mean I’m less or don’t deserve to rub elbows with this crowd. Charlie doesn’t stop his conversation when I approach; he just wraps his arm around me, easily folding me against him.