"I have ... really powerful friends," I choked out, recoiling when he came closer, towering even further over me than Sang had. I had to arch my neck to keep him in my vision. "You don't want to make an enemy of them. They'll be angry when I don't go home."
Not true, but the keepers would probably be angry. They were definitely looking for me.
"If you're smart, you'll let me go," I added, but breathy and terrified enough that it was a weak argument.
"Mm," the monster replied, not seeming worried. "We'll see, won't we?"
The temperature seemed to dip, turning icy as he leaned closer, huge clawed hands tilting my jaw until I was forced to meet his flat, black gaze.
I flinched at a scrape inside my mind, like his claws ran over the inside of my skull and not my jaw, but he held me still, staring deeper into my eyes.
"Stop," I choked out, my heart racing, panic cutting off my breathing. I couldn’t feel my body anymore, could feel the chill air or the floor beneath my feet. "Stop it."
"No," he replied firmly, holding my jaw tighter. The claws in my head scraped deeper, more painfully, until I gasped when memories flashed through me.
Running for my life after I escaped the hutch I'd lived my whole life in—the soles of my feet bleeding as I travelled miles—my throat hoarse from screaming, blood still covering me from where my only friend had bled out against me—
"Stop," I growled, wrenching away and not caring that the monster's claws cut my chin. "Whatever you're doing—"
"Searching for what Mav wants to know," the monster replied in a low, raspy voice that made me shake harder. "Show me your fears."
"No," I hissed, struggling against his hold, against the chains around my ankles and wrists. "Get away from me."
Claws raked over my mind, and more memories rushed forward without my permission. The kind smile of my keeper when I behaved, the cold anger when I made a mistake, the sharp order given to another weapon to hunt me—to kill me or drag me back to the hutch. The last one was my imagination, but I knew they hadn’t just accepted my escape. No, they were out there, hunting me.
"Deeper," the cruel, grey shadowkind ordered, ignoring me trying to kick him with my chained feet, a snarl in my throat.
"Hmm," he said, letting go and tilting his head as I sagged, hollowed out and so afraid I couldn't breathe. What kind of monster could scour my memories and thoughts like that? I'd never met a shadowkind like this before. "Who are those people you imagine chasing you?"
"Go to hell," I choked out, shaky and cold. I could feel the echo of a dozen different injuries, long healed on my body but never healed in my psyche.
"Hell is a social construct," the monster replied. "The void is far more real than anything humans have dreamt of."
I flinched when a claw hooked under my chin, forcing my head up until I was glaring at his vicious, inhuman face with watery eyes. "And I am the God of the Void. That should terrify you."
Claws scraped over a tender part of my head and I whimpered.
"Good," he said, watching me. "Now show me everything else."
I shook my head, my jaw clenched, but I could do nothing as claws tore apart my brain, shredding all my carefully constructed shields, tearing down my walls until my worst nightmares took hold.
"Enough!" I screamed, bucking against the chains, not caring if I dislocated my shoulder as I fought to escape. "Stop—stop!"
I wasn't shouting at the shadowkind any more; I was shouting at the keepers in my memories, begging for forgiveness, blurting out apologies and hoping they would keep the shocks and pain away. In my memories, I threw my arms over my head and locked my body against the volts of pain that blasted into me. I didn't remember the first time I'd been shocked; it had always been a part of my life, from when I was small.
I'd done everything I could to lock those memories away, to not let them break me, but the truth was I wasn't sure I'd ever been whole. I’d always been broken.
"Interesting," a rough voice said, and I jumped when the pain and keepers ripped away all at once.
Reeling, I stared at an empty black room and a grey-skinned enormous monster with sharp cheekbones and sharper teeth. I didn't know where I was, trapped in the hutch from my past, trapped with the keepers who'd been the only parents I ever knew.
"Show me where you got the necklace," the clawed monster said, not a harsh demand but not kind either. Hands framed my face, lifting my head from where it had slumped, but I just stared blankly.
The monster made a sound of displeasure. "Don't tell me you broke so easily."
"A long, long time ago," I rasped, staring blankly at the sharp tips of his fangs. Would it hurt more or less than the cattle prod when he ripped out my throat? I was betting less.
"Show me," he repeated, and I braced myself when a sharp scratch moved across my skull, rattling my tender brain.