‘I have heard nothing from him since his release and no word of his whereabouts nor has he enquired after my welfare. His indifference hurts me.’
‘Nevertheless, in your eyes, he is the rightful Laird and I am a usurper,’ Duncan said gently. ‘Surely you want him at the head of Clan MacLeod?’
‘I did think that way. I hated you Campbells and owed you no allegiance but you have proved to be a strong and compassionate laird. You have defended us against the Sinclairs constant raiding of our farms. You have rebuilt our defences and there has been peace the last few months. People are beginning to feel safe again and have been able to gather the harvest without it being stolen. They do not face starvation this winter as they did the last and if my brother is re-instated all that will be thrown into confusion.’
‘I’m sorry Ailsa.’
She shook her head and looked away. When she spoke again her voice sounded cold to her ears. ‘Robert forfeited the right to rule when he threw in his lot with the Sinclairs, he is their puppet, that is plain for all to see. If he is in charge that means the Sinclairs are in charge and we all suffer. I love my brother with all my heart,’ she said ‘but he is half the man my father was.’
Duncan put his arm around her shoulders. For a moment Ailsa leaned into him and put her head against his shoulder. It was a gesture of trust and he responded by pulling her tightly against him, shielding her from the wind gusting over the water. They sat peacefully for a while until Duncan broke the silence, bringing reality crashing back into their peace.
‘I am to leave tomorrow. I must make a tour of MacLeod lands.’
She sat up and frowned at him.
‘I intend to travel to remote areas where there is hardship, Shillinglaw and up to the Kirk of Lowis. I seek to ease the suffering in those places where the distance from Cailleach makes it most acute.’
‘That is good of you, may I come?’
‘That is not possible,’ he said firmly.
‘Why not? These people were loyal to my father, they will welcome me.’
‘No you cannot come for it is not safe and this good weather will not last. I would not see you suffer the hardship of sleeping out in the open with the men.’
‘But I don’t want to stay here without you,’ she said sadly.
‘I know and I am sorry for it. I will make amends when I get back I swear and you will be safe here.’
Duncan sounded sincere but there was a guarded look on his face. He did not want her to go but she was not sure why. She was strong enough to sleep out in the cold and besides, the face of Gordon MacLeod’s daughter would be a welcome sight in the highland villages and make his task easier. And how could she bear to be left at the mercy of strangers at Dunslair?
He must have seen the look on her face because he drew her gently to him and kissed her, pulling her into his warmth. She returned his kiss and felt a flash of almost unbearable affection for him as he grasped her waist in his hands and pressed her to his chest. Her hair was taken by the wind and blew around them as they kissed out there on the loch to the sound of birds wheeling and cawing over the water and in that quiet moment, something shifted between them.
Duncan pulled breathlessly away.
‘I wish things were simpler between us Ailsa. I wish I could stay here forever kissing you but we should go before I do the wrong thing and I must see to arrangements with my uncle.
As they walked quietly back to the castle Ailsa recognised this moment as a crossroads in her life. She had once hated and feared Duncan but, by some strange alchemy, those feelings were being turned on their head. His honesty about his feelings had caused something to bloom in her heart. She stole a glance at him. How could a man so beautiful and fine belong to her? There was a lump in her throat when she looked at him, an urgent need to possess him, to make him want her as she wanted him. Boldly she slipped a slender hand into his and he gripped it tightly.
They fell silent as they approached the castle gates as if they both recognised for different reasons that reality was encroaching on their budding trust for each other. Suddenly Duncan turned to her, his face alive with some strong emotion.
‘Ailsa, may I come to you tonight?
Chapter Fifteen
Dusk saw Ailsa pacing her room agitatedly. What had she been thinking! To lie with Duncan in the heat of the moment, when he had seduced and enticed her, had been one thing but to plan to lie with him, to invite him to her bed! She had lost her mind and was so nervous she could not sit still. She had taken great care with her appearance and styled her hair extravagantly. She smoothed the skirts of the fine purple dress Duncan had given her trying to gather her thoughts.
She would bar her door. Yes if she locked the door he could not enter and she would not be forced to give in to her base desires. If he gained entry to her room then she knew she would let him do anything he wanted and she knew full well what he wanted. Oh, but she wanted it too.
She went to the looking glass to check her appearance. The smoky vision which stared back at her was that of a hussy, brazen with excitement and anticipation, a woman with no honour, no loyalty and no restraint. It was too wicked, she could not. She tore free her hair and let it fall but as she turned to the door to lock it, Duncan flung it open and came in, slamming it shut behind him.
He strode right into the room and regarded her with a look of molten desire and impatience. Ailsa faltered before that look. He could see into her soul with those dark eyes and she was sure he knew just how much she wanted him.
‘I came as soon as I could,’ he said exuberantly. My uncle, as usual, would not leave me be. He’s like a dog with a rat and once he gets hold of you he never lets go. I thought I would never escape him.’ He beamed at her. ‘You are so lovely. Come here.’
‘Duncan forgive me, I don’t think we should do this.’
His face fell and she moved to the door to get him to go, but as she opened it an inch he put his palm to it and slammed it shut. He caught hold of her from behind.