“This doesn’t mean I forgive you,” I said, drawing myself up. “You took my weakness and used it on me. I need time to trust you just like you need time to learn to be vulnerable. Now, you go to bed and let me sleep.”
He frowned. “I want to sleep here with you.”
“No,” I said. “Not tonight.”
“Are you trying to punish me?” His eyes narrowed and crackled in warning.
“Keep standing on that thin ice and you’re going to break through,” I said, pushing his upper body from my lap.
“Let me sleep on the floor,” he said, rising.
He had his head cocked and I could see how much it hurt for me to send him away. The ice around my heart melted a little and I nodded, passing him an extra pillow.
“Turn out the light.”
He obliged and then he took off his shoes and stretched his long body out on the floor. I lay on the bed on my side and watched him fall asleep. The wind grew stronger and the windows rattled as the evening grew darker and the storm rolled through. I felt the cold radiate from the walls as I lay, curled beneath my covers. Through it all, my husband slept between my body and the world. A barrier against anything that might hurt me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
PEREGRINE
She was sick for another week. I had to leave her for work, but otherwise I stayed in her room. Mrs. Greene took pity on me and pulled a reclining chair into the corner so I didn’t have to sleep on the floor. Rosalia had no pity. She was an angel made of ice for the entire week and I didn’t blame her.
Lucien’s wife went into early labor the day after the Feast and he was gone from work for almost three weeks. When he returned to the office, he was exhausted, but triumphant. Olivia had bounced back from the delivery easily and their son Marco was finally released from the hospital in full health.
He called me into his office that afternoon. When the door was shut, he sat back and lit a cigarette. I shook my head when he offered me one and took the seat opposite him.
“Congratulations, sir,” I said.
“Thanks,” said Lucien. “Have you handled your shit, Calo?”
“Sorry, sir?”
“Whatever is going on with you and Rosalia.”
I decided to accept that cigarette.
“It’s being handled,” I said, breathing in the nicotine.
Lucien cocked his head, studying me with his ice cold, hazel eyes.
“Watching Olivia over the last few weeks has made me realize something about my wife I never knew,” he mused.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“She bends for me,” he said softly. “Because she trusts me not to break her.”
We were both quiet. His eyes were distant for a long time and then he blinked rapidly.
“I’m fucking lucky to be the father of her baby,” he said finally. “I was at the point you’re at once and I had to make a choice. I chose Olivia over myself. I chose to fix my shit and be her husband. That’s my advice to you—fix your shit and act like a husband. Before you lose her.”
“I’m never letting her go,” I said, something painful flaring in my chest.
“I didn’t say you were,” he said. “There are other, easier ways to lose her. Your wife is not the place for you to dump all of the bullshit in your head. Now, get out of my office, I’ve got weeks of work to catch up on. Go home. The alliance is done and it went extraordinarily well.”
“Have you heard from Merrick?” I asked, intrigued.
“He called me yesterday,” Lucien said. “He was impressed by you, Calo. I believe his words were something along the lines of ‘slightly more ballsy than I am and that impressed me.’ You pulled it off despite whatever the hell is going on with you and your wife.”