I froze. I’d never heard such venom in her voice before and it turned me cold. There was a sharp pain in my chest, filling me until I could barely breathe. I’d never been loved and I’d never truly loved anyone. Instead, I’d wrapped myself up in marble and stone to shield the boy no one else had bothered to protect.
I’d denied my feelings for her for weeks. I saw it all now, laid out in front of me. The murderous rage I’d felt when her stepbrother insulted her. The twinge of regret in the back of my mind after our wedding night. The endless nights spent capturing the beauty of her body. My intense need to protect her from anyone who dared look her way. The way I’d pushed her away every time I felt we were getting too intimate. The need to let Merrick touch her body just to prove I could give her what she wanted. Or what I thought she’d wanted.
My denial had been my armor, but it was all falling away before my eyes.
Did I know how to love the way other men did? The soft way she probably craved. I knew the answer to that question. I knew myself with rare clarity and I was a selfish, passionate monster. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t love her in my own broken way. That I couldn’t wrap this woman up in my protection. That I couldn’t get drunk on her body every night and worship at her feet.
If she could accept me the way I was, if she could be satisfied with all the broken parts of me…that would be enough.
“Lia,” I said, my voice breaking.
I heard a rustle of bodies behind me as our guests slipped into the shadows in the hall. I felt the tension, waiting to break. She turned, gathering her skirt, and began running up the stairs. I burst into motion and followed her, my footsteps loud. As we reached the landing, she whirled and her eyes blazed.
“Get away from me, Peregrine,” she hissed. “Go destroy someone else who will treat you like a fucking god the way you want.”
“Lia, my God,” I breathed, sinking down. Sinking to my knees on the stairs, praying she wouldn’t leave me here like this. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry about all of this.”
“You can say that, Peregrine, but I don’t know which one of you is apologizing to me. I don’t know if you’re going to turn around the next moment and swear you feel nothing for me,” she hissed. “But I know that’s a lie. Whatever it is, you feel something and you don’t have the balls to just say it. Fuck you, Peregrine Calo.”
She turned, but I reached out and took hold of her ankle, holding her. She wobbled and sank down, looking at me with wet eyes.
“I fucked up, angel,” I breathed. “I’m so sorry. About tonight, about all of this. My God, Lia, just let me figure this out and I promise I’ll fix this. You’re right, I do feel something. I love you, just don’t fucking run from me. I can’t lose you.”
Her eyes blazed. “Which Peregrine loves me?”
“All of them,” I whispered. “Every last one.”
“When did you start loving me?” Her voice was fragile.
“I don’t know.”
Her face hardened and her mouth curled in a sneer. “You’re a liar. It’s what you do—you lie for your living, you wear a different mask every day. The only predictable thing in my life with you was the way you pushed my face down when you fucked me because you couldn’t look me in the eyes.”
She scrambled to her feet, kicking my hand from her ankle. Rage flared and I turned, throwing my arm out as I leaned over the stairwell.
“Get out of my house,” I roared. “Get the fuck out.”
Everyone drew back and began pushing through the front doors. I struck out, catching one of the marble angels set up in the corner of the foyer. It toppled, falling through space, and shattered against the floor with a colossal sound. The wooden floorboards splintered and the house shook as the last guest disappeared into the darkness outside. I swiveled on my heel and tore up the second flight of stairs and entered the dark hall.
She was bent over, trying to get her heels off. When she heard me coming, my shoes clipping the floor, she straightened. Our eyes met as she whirled, gasping. I could almost feel her heart beating in the space between us.
“I love you, Lia,” I breathed. “And I would die before I hurt you again.”
“You don’t love me,” she said, shaking her head.
“I can’t love you the way other men love, I’m not gentle, I’m not good,” I said. “But I can love you the way I am if you’ll have me. I’ll give you every fucking broken part of me, I’ll let you strip me bare.”
I took a slow step toward her and her eyes widened as she backed up. I couldn’t tell if she was afraid, aroused, or angry. Perhaps she was all three.
“Please, angel,” I said. “I’m begging you.”
She turned and fled down the hall and I ran after her as she moved toward our bedroom. Before I could reach her, she slipped inside and slammed the door. I heard the lock click as I fell against it, pain shooting through my shoulder.
“Let me in,” I breathed. “Fuck, Lia, let me in.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
ROSALIA