“How dare you,” I breathed. “I laid out clearly what I would allow.”
Merrick lifted a hand, rising. “You’re right, I apologize.”
He was so professional, so unperturbed. I hated it. I’d have rather he lashed out at me so I had an excuse to beat the shit out of him. We stood there, both breathing heavily, like two wolves circling each other. Waiting to see where the next move would take them.
“Peregrine,” Rosalia said softly.
Merrick turned, clearly annoyed. “I think your husband is less open to this arrangement, Mrs. Calo. I should go. You both fulfilled your end of the bargain.”
“Merrick—”
“Peregrine made it very clear how he feels, Mrs. Calo,” said Merrick. “It’s better I go before things escalate further.”
“You stepped over the line,” I snarled.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to fuck her and I apologize. But it was merely a question,” Merrick shot back. “I never did anything with her that wasn’t approved beforehand. There’s nothing shameful about my desire or your jealousy, but they’re clearly not compatible to sharing.”
He was right and that pissed me off even more.
“I have no issue with sharing her. I know she’s mine.”
“Really?” Merrick cocked his head. “The whole evening, you’ve followed my every move like you’re about to shoot me dead if I breathe the wrong way. There’s murder in your eyes. I should have seen it before now, I’m normally pretty good at keeping myself out of situations like this. But you’re also very good at putting on a mask and acting like a completely different man.”
“Fuck you,” I breathed.
“Do not disrespect me,” he snapped. “This isn’t about me, Calo, this is about you not being able to get your shit together. It’s about you not being upfront about why you wanted this.”
I had nothing to say to that because he was right. He turned on his heel and walked out the door, letting it slam in his wake. I stood there consumed with anger for a second before going after him.
“Stop.”
He turned, rolling his eyes slightly.
“Just admit you love her, Calo,” he sneered. “I’ve met men like you before and your toxic, jealous love burns you up inside. The least you can do is admit it to her.”
I had nothing to say. He didn’t understand and there was no point in standing here swearing I didn’t love my wife. He didn’t understand that love was devastation, that it meant only victimhood. He didn’t know that love was the darkest place I’d ever been.
Merrick pivoted and disappeared into the darkness on the other side. Rage boiled through me and I struck the door closest to me with a thunderous crash. Pain shot up my arm and I swore softly, flexing my hand.
For years I’d fought against nothing. I should have just accepted what everyone was telling me. I was a fucking monster and jealousy and obsession ate me alive. Burying my sins in marble had offered me a false sense of peace, a temporary refuge. But underneath I’d remained the same.
Turning on my heel, I strode back into the room to find Rosalia was dressed and sitting at the table with her hands folded. She blushed as my gaze met hers and I reached out, my palm up.
“We’re going home,” I said quietly.
The drive home was so tense and fragile it had my spine tingling. Rosalia sat hunched in her seat with her eyes wide. I kept my foot on the gas and sped through the city toward home. I had the most confusing erection I’d ever had and I needed to get her upstairs and get inside her so I could make some sense of it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ROSALIA
We drove home in silence. We’d both made a mistake and that was clear to me now. We’d gone into a sensitive situation for all the wrong reasons and everyone had been hurt. My chest ached and Peregrine was silent. I was sure Merrick felt betrayed after Peregrine’s outburst. All the diplomacy work he’d done over the last month was surely for nothing.
Upstairs, I stood before the mirror, still weak from coming so many times. I was a warm mess of emotion and regret. As I dragged my eyes up over my naked body, I saw the remnants of what we’d done on my skin. They’d left little pink marks where their fingers had dug into my thighs. I ran a hand down my stomach and stroked my pussy, avoiding my sensitive clit.
And yet, despite everything, I needed my angry, jealous husband inside me. I needed to be reclaimed after Merrick’s touch.
As if on cue, the door to our bedroom swung ajar. I heard the crisp click of his shoes and he appeared in the doorway. I turned, swallowing back the dryness in my throat.