The wine hit my lips, washing away her taste from my tongue. Merrick’s fingers brushed over her pussy, teasing her until she whimpered. He bent, locking his mouth gently over her clit. His face hollowed as he sucked. Her stomach tensed and her lids fluttered, her eyes rolling back.
It did things to me, watching her like this. And it did things to me to be the one in control of both her and Merrick. There wasn’t a submissive bone in my body when it came to sex. I couldn’t handle giving up control—that felt too much like vulnerability. And there was something satisfying about seeing Merrick ask for permission.
There was also something about it that annoyed me. There was something about his confidence I envied.
I shook my head once, knocking the thought aside.
“Fucking make her come,” I snapped.
He lifted his head long enough to let his saliva drip down between her thighs and slide his pointer and index into her tight, little cunt. She shivered, her hips lifting to let him in, and he swore quietly.
“Fuck, she’s got a grip on me.”
“Stroke her G-spot slowly,” I said, moving closer. “Circle your fingers, don’t flick. She’ll relax for you when you hit the right spot.”
His forearm tensed and she shuddered, her lids flickering, and the prettiest moan slipped from her mouth. Merrick’s fingers gripped the underside of her calf, keeping her from closing her legs. His mouth was parted and his eyes were fastened to her, like there was nothing more beautiful on earth. And I fucking hated it.
“Come,” I said, ice creeping into my voice.
I reached out and locked my hand around her throat. Her eyes met mine and she writhed as Merrick’s mouth lowered to her pussy. Sucking her sensitive little bud and working her from the inside. Her stare glazed and her body shuddered, tensing and twisting as she built. When her orgasm hit her, she was too weak to do anything but pulse in a heap.
I ran a hand over my face, trying to pull it together. Merrick lifted her upright and began kissing up her stomach, his tongue snaking out to tease her nipples. He bared his teeth and nipped her breasts, eliciting little whimpers from her throat. My stomach clenched and a growing anger began in my chest. They were focused only on each other and the sight of their tangled bodies was erotic. But it also triggered something primal deep inside.
Something that made me want to kill.
Fuck, maybe I couldn’t do this. Maybe I was nothing more than a jealous man without self control. Maybe I couldn’t give her the pleasure she’d fantasied about. My fist clenched around the glass and I leaned back against the bar, crossing one ankle over the other. Inside, I was breaking down. But I didn’t need to show them that.
“Kiss her,” I ordered. “Like you fucking mean it.”
Merrick lifted her until she straddled him on the bench. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, but her eyes were on me. Hazy and confused, but still glittering with lust.
“Do you need your safe word, sweetheart?” Merrick asked.
She shook her head, her gaze wide. Like a nervous animal. I inclined my head, my grip threatening to break the glass, and pointed at Merrick.
“Go on, angel, you’re not doing anything wrong,” I said, forcing my voice to be gentle.
She sensed the imbalance in me, I knew it. Merrick slid his hand up her face and turned her back to him. He bent and his lips parted as he kissed her, his tongue flashing in the space between them. Her body stiffened and then relaxed and they moaned together. A sound of intense desire. Her naked hips began working against his lap, rubbing her soaked cunt against the ridge of his cock beneath his pants, leaving a wet mark on the fabric.
His hands were in her hair, on her breasts, between her legs. And she was moaning and grinding the way she always did with me. She was making the fucking sounds she made with me. She was purring the way she did when it was just her and I, in the dark alone.
Merrick pulled back, panting. His eyes locked on mine.
“Are you sure you won’t let me fuck her?” he breathed.
My chest seized and I felt the glass in my fist crack. I tossed it onto the bar and it split in half, wine spilling out. The raging jealousy and anger I’d dammed up inside burst out. Filling every part of me, killing my erection, killing my desire to do anything more than shove my gun in Merrick’s throat.
I wanted to fucking kill him.
I’d never felt this kind of sick, dark jealousy before and it made me cold. Cold with the realization that I’d been wrong to hope I was more than a monster. I wasn’t capable of being anything more.
For as long as I could remember, I’d been a jealous, obsessive person who always took it too far. Everyone had told me that from an early age. And they were right. My grandfather, my father, my mother—they were all right. I was a fucking monster.
And it was time I stopped giving a fuck and just accepted it.
“We’re done,” I said softly. “Fuck off, Merrick.”
The silence was so loud it made my ears ring. Rosalia and Merrick glanced at one another and disentangled themselves. My wife shifted off his lap and fumbled for her slip, pressing it to her naked breasts. The heat in the room was gone and slow ice had crept over every surface.