“What does that mean?” I asked stiffly.
Merrick mulled it over for a minute and shrugged.
“Some people fuck with their bodies. I can tell you fuck with everything. I admire that.”
He was saying I was reckless, I heard it in his voice. Biting back the harsh response on the tip of my tongue, I called on all my training and kept my face impassive.
“You may not fuck her, but you can pleasure her,” I said. “That’s the only thing I’ll offer.”
Merrick’s mouth curled in a smile. “So she does want it.”
I finished my vodka and set it aside.
“It’s not that simple,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not about wanting it. It’s about what I can give her. I fucked around for a lot of years before I settled down and Rosalia never got the chance to do that. I’m…not the gentlest man. I think an experience centered around her pleasure like that could be beneficial for her actually.”
Merrick’s eyes narrowed. “While I love the sentiment, I see that you’re lying to me. There’s no way you haven’t given her that experience. Not with the way she looks at you.”
“This is for Rosalia,” I said firmly.
“No, it’s not.”
“Then elaborate on why I’m willing to share my wife with you.”
Merrick crossed one leg over the other and I had a faint impression of something devilish and my spine tingled. His eyes were sharp and they bore into me without mercy. It took everything I had not to turn away.
“You’re trying to prove something,” he said softly. “I saw the way you almost lost control when I asked you for her and I know that feeling doesn’t just go away. You feel something for her and it’s complex.”
“Are you always this fucking bold?” I asked softly.
He set aside his glass and stood. For a moment, I wondered if he would take out a knife and slip it between my ribs. Instead, he flicked his wrist and looked at his watch. Then he sighed and pushed his hands in his pockets.
“Walk with me,” he said.
“Where?”
“Along the river.”
I didn’t have anything to lose. We were both armed so it was no more dangerous in this empty bar than it would be on the riverbank. I followed him out into the crisp evening and we crossed the street to the pier that stretched out over the river. There were scattered clouds, almost purple in the moonlight, and the air prickled with something electric. Somewhere in the dark, a bird shrilled. On the other side of the bank stretched the mansions of the city’s richest.
“Cigarette?” I said, taking out a pack.
Merrick shook his head. “I don’t smoke.”
“Neither do I,” I said. “Unless the occasion calls for it.”
His jaw worked. “I used to and sometimes I wish I still did. There’s nothing like a smoke after…well, you know.”
I leaned on the railing, studying him as I lit my cigarette. “After a good fuck?”
He nodded.
“Who is Clara?” I asked quietly.
His cobalt gaze darted up and there was a flash of nakedness in it. I could tell whoever she truly was to him, she was his weakest point. That fascinated me. Merrick was one of the most powerful, elusive men in the States and yet he clearly had this poorly concealed Achilles’ heel. I wondered if he thought the same of me—if he saw the recklessness that Rosalia drove me to and he only sought to use it to torture me. It was hard to tell.
“I told you,” Merrick said coolly. “She’s my financial ward.”
“Do you fuck her?” I asked.