"Did they…"The half-asked question hung over us.
She sighed. "They raped me. Took their time too. One, then the other. By the time the last guy took his turn with me, I was too weak to fight. I just lay there, numb. When they finished, one of the larger guys punched me in the face, knocking me out. I woke up here, in the Ringmaster's trailer, his eyes on me."
I reached out, placing my hand over hers but she quickly yanked it away, leaving me empty.
"Don't pity me Lazarus. Because of that night I swore I'd never let anyone else hurt me. I swore that I would never let anyone hold that power over me again."
"Is that why you do what you do?"
She shrugged, placing another piece of steak in her mouth, and chewing harder, with more conviction.
"I do what I do because that's what I need to do to survive. Feed the demon's lust, protect what's yours. You know this better than anyone, you also grew up in all this shit. This is your home. Why leave it?"
"Because I'm tired, Imogen. I'm tired of giving into this fucking witch. I swear, one of these days I'm gonna…"
She placed her fingers over my mouth and frowned. "If she hears you, she'll take you away from me."
I grabbed her hand, pressing it to my cheek. "You're stronger than she is. You're the strongest person I know."
"I think she's holding back on purpose."
"Why would you think that?"
"I have an undead harem that fucks on a stage exciting the crowds, night after night. I'm a slave to it just like you, like Jin, like our Master. I fear that if I ever were to leave, she'd find a way to stop me."
"But…"
"I don't control demons, Lazarus. I control the dead. They're no obstacle for her."
"But you were able to free me."
She shook her head, grazing the backs of her fingers down my cheek. A look of love and care in her eye. "No, my beautiful angel. You did that all on your own. I only took your soul for my own greediness."
"And in doing so you took me out of her clutches."
She moved to the front of the tent, leaning against a beam, and staring out at the falling rain.
"Will you be able to live alongside me, even though I have demons of my own."
I stepped up behind her, wrapping my arms around her. "Can I ask you a question?"
My lips pressed against her as she nodded in response.
"Do you love us all equally?"
She turned slightly, until her lips hovered over mine. "You all have different qualities I love, Lazarus. Rodrigo and his innocence. He's such a loyal puppy. And Jin, spiritually fulfills me."
"What about Dean?"
She stayed quiet for a few seconds before responding. "Dean has a monster inside who wants out, I can see it in his eyes. But in those moments when the monster leaves, I can sense the soul of a scared little boy. That evil haunts him."
"You want to save him?"
"In a way. But I so need him."
"Why is that?"
She turned in my arms and stared up at me. "Because you need evil to fight evil."