He wanted to believe her: she could tell from the look on his face. He was yearning for it, but he couldn’t quite get himself to believe that it was that easy.
She had spent a lot of time feeling that way herself, but somehow, withhisreasons for holding back right in front of her, she could see howunrealall of it was compared to what was between the two of them.
Maybe she couldn’t be sure of anything else, but she could be sure of this. She could be sure ofhim.
“Please don’t keep holding back from me,” Iz said. She cupped her hand against his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin and the slight scrape of his stubble. “I don’t need you to be the person you were before, Logan. I just need you to be you. The person who spent a year in Sebastian’s cave is the one who saved my life, and he’s the one I fell in love with. That’syou.”
“But there was what happened when we had sex,” Logan said. This was the last barrier between them; she could tell by how much it seemed to hurt him to talk about it. It was ripping the heart out of him.
And she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.
“Do you mean because you left afterwards?” she said tentatively.
“No. I mean, yeah, I shouldn’t have done that if it hurt you—I never want to hurt you—but I mean how wild I got. I was desperate for you.” He admitted this like it was something shameful, like wanting her so badly that his self-control had frayed down to almost nothing was something that wouldbotherher. “I just wanted to sink into you—feel you, taste you,claimyou—and it was just...”
She had to bite her tongue to keep herself from rushing in to fill that pause. Whatever this was, she had the feeling Logan needed to say it himself.
“It was frantic,” he said finally. “Rough, even.” He couldn’t look at her.
She brushed her thumb over his cheekbone, catching a tiny bit of dampness.
“Logan, I loved what we did. It was exactly what I wanted, exactly what Ineeded. You—” She blushed a little but pressed on. “You know how much I loved it. You know how manytimesI loved it.”
It had never even occurred to her that he might feel guilty about it.
“Why did you think I didn’t like it?” she said gently.
Logan’s gaze moved away from hers at first, but then he forced himself to look back. She could see the thoughtfulness in his eyes, warring with the uncertainty and the guilt. She wanted the thoughtfulness to win.
“When it was happening, I wasn’t worried about it. I knew you were feeling the same way I did. It’s just that after ... I felt like I’d dragged you down with me. First times with your mate aren’t supposed to be like that.”
“I’ve heard about those mythical first times,” Iz said. “With rose petals all over the bed and a bunch of candles. That does sound nice.” She put her hand back on his cheek. “But I think what matters is that we make each other happy and give each other what we need, not that we fit some cookie-cutter mold. I liked that you knew, all the way down in your bones, that I wasn’t breakable. I needed that. It was also very hot. I can’t overstate that.”
The corner of his mouth finally twitched, his lips curving into a reluctant smile.
God, she wanted to kiss him. She didn’t think he understood what a gorgeous smile he had.
“You are exactly what I need,” Iz said firmly. “All of you. Sebastian hurt us, but we can heal together. And if there’s ever a problem, for whatever reason, I’ll tell you.” She took a deep breath, and all the emotions she’d been trying to hold back for the Mature Relationship Conversation came rushing in. She closed her eyes to stem what felt like an impending rush of tears. “But please stay with me. Be my mate. Be my Logan.”
He kissed her forehead, very softly, and then her mouth.
“I never, ever meant to make you feel like you did anything wrong, Iz. I guess the human part of me got me into more trouble than the hellhound part.”
He combed her hair back with his fingers, gently moving the strands that tears had stuck to her cheeks.
“I’m your mate,” he said, almost wonderingly, like he was just now starting to grapple with the idea that that might be true. “And I promise I won’t pull away from you anymore. Ever.”
Iz smiled shakily, and he kissed the corner of her mouth.
“Okay,” she said. “So ... dinner? With, um, dessert afterwards?Dessert? I’m trying for innuendo here but I don’t know if I’m pulling it off.”
“You’re pulling it off,” Logan said.