“Not a horse,” Logan said. “A motorcycle.”
“Oh.” That made more sense and came with a mental image that gave her an evenmoreimmediate “yes, please” reaction. “Would you—would you maybe take me for a ride sometime?”
Logan exhaled deeply, like he’d been holding his breath for a long time. “I’d really like that.”
He sounded sorelievedat the idea of taking her for a ride on his bike, and she’d been so afraid to ask about it. They were mates, and they’d already had a month of close, mind-to-mind contact to get to know each other. They shouldn’t have to be this tentative and afraid.
She’d thought that it was just her, and that the only thing Logan was worried about was the psychological wear-and-tear of having been Sebastian’s prisoner for so long. She’d thought that the only thing keeping them apart was that she wasn’t good enough for him and some part of him knew it.
But if it were just that, he wouldn’t have this kind ofjoywritten all over his face right now.
Iz pulled over onto the shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” Logan said urgently.
She turned to face him. For a second, she felt like a delicate ballerina spinning in place in a music box. Pretty and breakable.
She had to be brave enough to slam the music box closed and get back tochoosingwho she wanted to be.
“Logan, am I doing something wrong?”
“What? No, Iz. No way. I’m the one who keeps messing things up.”
Everything in his face said he was telling her the truth. He looked agonized but unmistakably sincere.
And he had never lied to her, not even a little white lie for the sake of politeness. She had grown up in a world of elaborate, mannered courtesy, where lies were flowery and truths were often genteelly barbed and chosen to hurt, but Logan had never been anything but straightforward with her. It was one of the many reasons she already loved him so much.
She risked asking for some more truth. “I just keep feeling like you’re backing away from me. I thought maybe I wasn’t what you wanted, but then—”
“Wasn’t what Iwanted? Iz—” He shook his head, cutting himself off, and took her hands in his.
It was like the touch they’d shared in the cave, the one that had let him pour his power and spirit into her. Even though it was different when they were human, she could still feel a charge as his bare skin against hers.
“Iz, I love you. I was falling in love with you way before I knew we were mates. Trust me, theonlyreason I’ve been holding back is that I know I can’t be the man you deserve.”
That reason made so little sense that Iz couldn’t even understand it. The last part might as well have turned into random word salad. It was like he’d said, “The only reason I’ve been holding back is that marshmallow fluff popcorn diamond bear.”
“You what?” Iz said.
“Marshmallow fluff popcorn diamond bear,” Logan said, or words to that effect. “You know what I was like before you came. I spent a whole year in Sebastian’s cage, and I was alone for so much of it ... I’m just not the same guy I was before I went in there. There were times when I couldn’t even remember my own name.”
That felt like a nonsensical objection too. “You know your own name now, though.”
“You just deserve so much, and I worry that some part of me will always be just ... an animal. It’s what Sebastian wanted, and it’s what he got.”
“No.” She shook her head violently. “He didn’t get what he wanted from either one of us. If he had, we wouldn’t be here. He wanted a collection, and we stole ourselves.”
“But—”
“And I don’tcarethat there were days when you were more hellhound than human. No, I do, actually. I’m glad. I’m glad you had whatever it took to survive a situation that would have destroyed most people.”
“But it cost something,” Logan said. “I’m not the same anymore.”
“Neither am I. Neither isanybody, after they’ve been through something big, good or bad. Cooper got framed for murder and went to prison, and he’s still the perfect mate for Gretchen.”
Against all odds, there was a tiny flicker of a smile on Logan’s face. “I actually haven’t met Gretchen yet, so I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“Well, they’re great together, and you’d like her,” Iz said defensively. It felt like this little sidebar had made her lose some steam. “And you said part of you will always be an animal? That’s justbeing a shifter.”