CHAPTER 3
NADIA
Courage
Tears woke me up, accompanied by a loud, painful sob coming from deep within my chest. I hugged my knees, placed my hands on my ribcage the way Thomas taught me and dived into my head.
His lips on my skin, the sound of his voice, the smell of his cologne, the way my body relaxed under his touch.
Disappointment on his handsome face tore me out of sleep night after night since I landed in New York. I left him against my will and against better judgement. The decision broke me in ways I hadn’t been broken before. I considered myself stronger, but leaving Thomas to help Adrian was worse than leaving Adrian alone with his issues.
The door to my bedroom burst open before I had time to jump out of bed to find Thomas’s t-shirt in the closet. I stole it and brought it with me to New York. At first, I wore it to bed. The scent of his body and cologne soothed my senses enough to let me sleep, but as the days went by, the scent faded, throwing me into a state of insomnia.
It wasn’t until two weeks after I arrived in New York that I thought of buying a bottle of the same cologne Thomas used. I sprayed the t-shirt and held it close whenever I needed consolation.
Adrian took almost the entire width of the frame, dressed in nothing but his boxer-shorts. He leaped forward, resting one knee on the bed and cupped my face.
“You’re okay, puppet,” he uttered, a mixture of fear, shame and helplessness in his voice. “You’re fine; you’re safe.”
The overhead light flipped on, making me cringe. Ty stood in the doorway, his eyes on me, chest heaving. I could imagine what his first thought was when he heard my choked back sobs.
Ty spent the last three weeks watching Adrian. He skipped classes, took time off work and made sure Adrian had no reason to be alone with me for more than a few minutes at a time.
When I landed at the JFK airport, he waited for me, and he wasn’t there to take me to Adrian.
“Don’t do this,” Ty said instead of hello. “Go back home, Nadia.”
He wore shorts and a baggy t-shirt, looking as if he hadn’t slept for days. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pressed my forehead to his chest. During the months of abuse, Ty was the only person whose touch didn’t send me into a frenzy. At least not at first. The more bruises covered my body, the harder it was to let him in, but once he managed to get close, I allowed him stay. My instincts pushed me to run, but I knew that Ty wouldn’t hurt me, and I fought to stay connected to someone, to not let the fear shut me out completely.
“I can’t go back home. He needs me,” I moved away, brushing my hair away from my face. “How is he?”
“He’s fine. There’s no need for you to be here, girl. Youshouldn’tbe here. If he can’t get up by himself, then he should stay down.”
I gave him the luggage, walking outside for a cigarette. Ty followed, dragging the suitcase behind him, not done condoning my choices. We argued for a while longer, but his arguments hit a wall.
“I’m not going home no matter what you say; so please, spare me the lecture. Where is Adrian?”
“Fine,” Ty huffed, “but you’re staying with me. You don’t go out with him alone, and you put my number on speed-dial right now. If anything happens, and I meananything, you call me straight away. If he has a drink, yells, gets too close or fucking looks at you wrong, you call me. Understood?”
Ty was an extraordinary person. The kind of friend anyone would be proud to have. Not one of Adrian’s friends stayed in touch when he started the downward spiral, but Ty stood by his side for a long time. He did leave, but he came back and was ready to rearrange his life to keep me safe and help Adrian stay clean.
“You good, girl?” Ty asked, his eyes darting from me to the back of Adrian’s head.
I nodded, moving away from Adrian, so Ty could see me better.
“I’m sorry I woke you. Bad dream.”
“I wasn’t sleeping.” He pointed to Adrian as if asking whether to steer him out of the room.
In moments like this I regretted not telling Nick what Adrian’s addiction did to me. Tous. Ty was my New York older brother, but the burden of worrying shouldn’t rest on his shoulders. Although if it wasn’t for Ty, no one would be making sure I was safe.
Nick created an illusion of a strong person. He acted tougher since he met Thomas and tried to be more like him, but he couldn’t fool me. There was a part of his character, the one responsible for his success, that had others convinced that Nick was a leader. He wasn’t. Nick was soft; delicate, even. He was caring, supportive anduselesswhen the situation required him to step-up.
Not all men are alphas. Most are just ordinary husband types who protect their families no matter what but rely on support and guidance from their partners.
Every man is the man of the house, the head of the family, if you will. It’s just that in most homes, a woman is the neck that moves the head. Nick would be lost without Amelia. She nurtured his confidence to the point where he felt almost equal with Thomas, but there was a vital difference between the two.
Thomas didn’t need a neck. He didn’t need guidance. He knew what to do, what to say and how to act.