Bokerah’s eyes widen and she leans forward to get a better look at me. “You can talk, can’t you?”
Hmm. Maybe this was a mistake. I thought when I saw her that somehow I would just know what needed to be said, but the longer I spend moored in her presence, the more adrift I become.
I clear my throat and do my best to meet her direct gaze. “I wanted to introduce myself. And to apologize.” We’re both omegas, and yet I’m intimidated by her. Maybe it’s because of what she did, or maybe prison has hardened her. In either case, I’m no match for this much stronger woman.
She scoffs and folds her arms over her chest. “You? Apologize to me? Funny, none of your alphas ever did that.”
“Then let me say how sorry I am on their behalf.” And now the words are pouring out of me, a torrent unleashed upon famished land. “Ben told me what happened with your brother. I don’t have a brother, but I have six sisters and I can’t imagine losing a single one of them.”
Bokerah says nothing as her eyes travel up and down my figure—or at least the part of me she can see over the table. I’m not quite sure what she makes of me, but at least she’s listening.
Finally she chuffs, her entire demeanor softening. “Six sisters? Ain’t that something.”
I nod, but we’re not here to talk about me. I have to get us back on topic. “Ben is tearing himself up over what happened. He never wanted anyone to get hurt.”
And just like that, I’ve lost her favor again. “Yet still my brother is dead.”
I wish I could reach out to hold her hand, to show her some small gesture of human kindness. But her arms remained crossed over her chest, a barrier between us. And who’s to say the guards wouldn’t stop me from making physical contact with her anyway? She and I grew up in very different worlds, and we live in very different places now. I have no idea what her life is like, what her experiences have been. “I know. And again I’m so sorry for that. I know you grew up in impossible circumstances. Pack Muldoon did too. It’s not fair.”
She sighs and drops her arms, folding them now on the table. “It’s not fair, but it is what it is. Growing up as one of seven, you must have been treated like a princess, huh?”
“Yes,” I admit. “For a time. But we had our problems too.”
Bokerah leans forward to get a closer look at me. Once again her eyes sweep up and down. After a few tense moments, she snorts and leans back, apparently having made her assessment. “Bet money wasn’t ever one of them though.”
“You’re right. Would money help? For when you’re out again, I mean. You deserve a second chance. Really a first chance. And I want to help.” The guys may not like it, but if I explain they’ll understand.
She stares at me with a cautious expression. “Why?”
“Because I can.”
“You do realize I meant what I did. I wanted to kill Archer. I wanted to kill all of them.”
“But you don’t anymore.” It’s a bold assertion, a guess. But for so long, I’ve been expecting the worst from people. Maybe it’s time I start focusing on the good in them instead.
Bokerah tilts her head to the side, moves her lips to form a word, then stops. When finally she finds her words again, she says, “How can you be so sure?”
“I’m not, but I’m choosing to trust you.”
She smirks, but soon her face yields a genuine smile. “Famous last words.”
We sit together in a companionable silence. I don’t know what else needs to be said, what else can be said. After several minutes of quiet, Bokerah speaks up, her voice hardly above a whisper now. “I think about my brother every day, how different life would have been if he was still here.”
“And?” I prompt, hoping it doesn’t come across rude.
“And it still would have sucked.” She chortles, taking a while to regain her composure. “I miss Tyler, and I still don’t regret what I did to Archer.”
“Because he deserved it?” Maybe I’ve put too much faith in this meeting, in her willingness to be open with me, to clear the air and close the past.
She glances over my shoulder before meeting my eye again. “No, because it brought me here.”
“I don’t understand.”
She sighs and threads her fingers together. “I was already in prison long before I wound up in this place. Growing up, I was imprisoned by my circumstances, then by my overwhelming need for revenge. Now for the first time, I’m free of all that, free to be myself, free to find whatIwant.” She stops and smiles, lets out a soft laugh. “Funny how life works sometimes, huh?”
I catch her glancing at one of the other inmates across the room, a pretty waifish blonde with a blunt pixie cut she likely gave herself. They catch each other’s eyes, and something crosses between them. I’ve seen that look before. It’s the same one I give Ben when he’s said something brilliant, or Noah when I want a kiss from him. It’s the same one I’d give Miles and Archer if they were here with us now.
Bokerah’s eyes almost seem to sparkle when she returns her attention to me. “So if you’re here to make sure I’m not going to come after your boys once I’m back on the outside, save your breath. They aren’t important enough for me to waste any more time on them. I’ve got better things to do.”