I clench my fists, then release as Ben continues. “I’d gotten too complacent. In my hurry, I didn’t weigh it all out properly. I prepped their blow fast. It was all routine. But it wasn’t what they wanted. I’d shorted them, and not for the first time. Instead of taking it out on some dumb kid, they came for Tyler.”
Violet stands and goes to soothe him, rubbing reassuring circles into his back. She shouldn’t be comforting that asshole. She should be here with me! I’m the one that psycho tried to murder.
Ben has big man-tears shining in his eyes, the pussy. “My thoughtlessness cost him his life, and I have always blamed myself for that. It’s why I was so careful once I started working with you, Archer. But I’m not the only one who blamed me for what happened. I didn’t know it then, but Bokerah did too.
“I moved away, met all of you, and I thought that was that. But Bokerah kept her eye on me, on us. When Archer brought her home and presented her as our future omega, I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything at all.
“Maybe she wouldn’t remember who I was now that we were all grown up. Maybe she didn’t even remember meeting me once or twice, given how many runners flowed through that house she shared with her brother.
“But she did remember, and she’d also sought us out for a reason. She wanted to kill the person who provided for me now, just as I’d gotten her provider killed all those years ago. She wasn’t simply crazy. She was after revenge. That’s why she tried to stab you that night, Archer. And, yes, it’s all my fault.”
fourteen
VIOLET
Everyone seems to be holding their breath after Ben’s enormous confession. I don’t know if it’s any more shocking than mine, any more of a betrayal, and I doubt the others have yet to make that judgment either.
Ben’s kept his secret for as long as he’s known the other alphas. Longer even. And in not telling, he almost got Archer killed.
I made mistakes, but I didn’t know them then. I could barely form a rational thought with the intensity of my unexpected first heat tearing through my body. Even knowing what I know now, I would probably make the same decision all over again. Pain like that is hard to endure.
Then again, it feels like I’ve been living with a different version of that hurt ever since. It’s duller but more pervasive. It consumes both my body and my heart, and if there’s an easy way to gain relief, I certainly haven’t found it yet.
Ben has pledged his loyalty to me, no matter what.
But now it seems as if he’s trying to get booted from the pack. If the others send him away but decide to keep me, what will it mean for our futures? Should I go with Ben regardless of what the others want? Should I show him the same commitment he was willing to make for me?
I wish I knew. Lately it seems the more I try to fix my situation, the more impossible it becomes.
Were I to go, I thought I’d at least be leaving a happy, bonded pack behind. That seems unlikely now.
Miles is the first to break the silence. He remains sitting on that same stone bench where he held me not long ago. “How could you let her into our pack?” His words are low, angry, but not intended for me. Ben is the target of his ire now. “How could you endanger Archer like that after everything he’s done for you?”
Ben holds Miles’s gaze, unwilling to look away and lose any last leverage he has. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t even know if she remembered me. I’d take it all back if I could.”
“Well, you fucking can’t, can you? You—”
“Enough, Miles,” Archer growls, then takes slow, measured strides toward Ben and grabs him by the shirt. “You. Get out of my fucking sight. Now.”
“No,” I choke out, reaching for Ben’s hand and taking it in mine. I don’t know if my support will help matters or only make them worse. Still, I can’t leave him to face this firing squad alone. “Please don’t splinter your pack because of me.”
“This isn’t because of you,” Ben says, letting go of my hand and pushing Archer away from him. “It’s me. You should stay.”
“No,” Miles says hardly above a whisper. “She needs to leave. This is way too damn much to process right now. Our pack needs time to sort itself out.”
“What pack?” Ben counters with a sneer. “Archer told me to fuck off. You’re asking Violet to leave. What’s left?”
“Those of us who aren’t liars,” Archer hisses.
I’m so confused. Before Ben’s confession, he was solidly on team Violet. Now he wants us both to go?
“I’m going too.” Noah, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet through this whole exchange, surprises me with that announcement. He tosses his water bottle onto the ground and rises to follow me and Ben. “In fact, I’ll drive.”
“Noah, Violet, stop.” Archer’s voice deepens as he enunciates each word, infusing it with a heady undercurrent of alpha command. “Only Ben goes.”
Noah laughs bitterly. “Are you sure? You literally just said liars aren’t welcome in your pack. And guess what? I’m a fucking liar too.”
Noah stomps toward the truck and climbs inside without another word.