He nods. “And you will.” There’s an awkward pause as he lingers, staring at me. “Are you sure it’s only teaching math that is bothering you, though?”
I clench my jaw. “I told you it was.”
He glares at me as if he can see right through the bullshit. “If you were on the edge, you’d—”
“Of course I’d tell you,” I snap, before he can finish the sentence.
It’s a lie since I haven’t felt this close to falling off the edge in over five years. To say I’m defensive is an understatement when it comes to Camilla, as I don’t want to believe I’d do anything to harm her irrevocably.
Oak knows me better than anyone. He’s seen the carnage that follows if I let the darkness reign.
I have little control once it takes hold. It’s as if my body goes on auto-pilot, and I know how dangerous it would be for that to happen here, at the academy.
Death follows me everywhere I go, but for five years, I’ve put a stop to it.
Camilla opened up a door inside of me, allowing some of the darkness to seep back in, slowly but surely.
He sighs heavily. “You forget that I’ve seen you when you have fallen over the edge. I know the warning signs.”
“What are you suggesting?” I ask.
“Jane Owens is in town, and I want you to have a few sessions with her.”
I force my eyes shut and press the palms of my hands against them at the mere thought of sitting in front of her for more therapy sessions.
It was one condition of my position here at the academy that I attended therapy with her weekly.
And then lucky for me, she moved away, and told Oak she believed I could graduate out of therapy.
She was content that I had my urges under control.
“Are you fucking serious?”
He sits in the chair opposite my desk and looks me dead in the eye. “Tell me honestly that there’s not chaos brewing inside of you, and I’ll drop it.”
I look him dead in the eye, but I can’t lie to him about that. My shoulders slump. “Fine, I’ll attend the sessions.”
“Good. I’ve booked you five sessions in total over the next few weeks.” Oak stands. “As long as she’s happy with what she finds, then you don’t need to continue with them.”
“Great, thanks,” I say, sarcastically.
Oak runs a hand across the back of his neck. “You know that I’m doing this for you, right?”
Guilt slams into me as I know Oak has always had my best interests at heart. Hell, he saved me from a life in prison, for fuck’s sake. I’m forever in his debt, and it’s easy to forget that.
“I know,” I say, my voice quiet. “Thank you.”
He nods and turns to leave. “I’ll see you later.”
I watch him walk away, knowing that it’s probably a good thing that Spring Break is a few days away. It will give me space from Camilla. A chance to clear my head and my blood lust.
As if like clockwork, she saunters past my office door, glancing in with those beautiful honey brown eyes.
The distance can wait for Spring Break, as right now I need her.
“Camilla,” I bark her name.
She stops and walks toward the door. “Yes, sir?” Her voice infused with false innocence.