They sat next to each other, and Hannah found him sitting too close. She didn’t shrink away from him, though, and simply allowed her thighs to press against his.
“You don’t get to do this much, do you?”
They had their beers served to them, and Hannah took a giant gulp. She swallowed hard and stared at him with a look of childlike innocence.
“What, beat men at air hockey in adult arcades?” she asked, pursing her lips at him.
Levi let out an endearing guffaw, inching even closer to her in the booth. “I mean, true,” he said, leaning on his hand. “I meant that you don’t go out and relax very often, right?”
Hannah could feel herself leaning into him, wondering if it was the booze, or the atmosphere, or the whole pheromone mate thing that was making her want to open up to him. Part of her thought it was dangerous, while the other craved it deeply.
“I’m not used to it,” she said, sliding her fingers up and down her glass. “My childhood was a little rough, so I was honestly used to staying on alert, taking care of my mother after some terrible shit went down.”
Levi leaned in closer, and she could feel his breath on her neck. She breathed in deeply, feeling the tale of woe that she had kept inside for way too long bubbling up in her.
“I don’t tell a lot of people about what I’ve been through. Hell, I don’t really have anyone to tell. I don’t trust anyone after what happened with my parents.”
Levi nodded quietly, taking a sip of his beer and giving her his complete attention. “It’s hard to cope with what is forced on you as a child. You don’t realize what it does to you until you are much older. I understand that.”
He was right. Hannah hadn’t realized that her insides were rotting from having kept the story inside of her for so long. As painful as it was, it felt good having Levi talking to her with his caring eyes and empathetic soul.
“I was never close to my parents. Not because I didn’t want to be … It’s just … My mom and I don’t even talk anymore, and …” She trailed off, not sure how to put any of it into words.
Hannah was afraid to look at Levi, fearing his judgment or misunderstanding. He seemed to be so sociable, and maybe he wouldn’t understand her withdrawn personality. But she felt his hand on her leg, and it warmed both her heart and her loins.
“I am so sorry to hear about that, Hannah,” he said, his eyes as big as the moon. “I am.”
Hannah had flashbacks about her times coming home from school and finding her mother sleeping in her bed when it was almost five in the evening. She would remove money from her mother’s wallet and head to the store for sandwiches. At the time, it was not a source of trauma.
But later on, she understood that it was pure neglect. And she held great resentment in her heart toward her mother for it.
But Levi felt like a soft place to fall. She wanted to bask in him, feel his hands and arms take all the pain away.
8
LEVI
Hannah sat quietly for some time, processing how to bring the conversation forward. Levi could tell it was hard for her, so he waited patiently. He could wait all night if he had to.
“My father died when I was young.” Hannah sighed, stirring her finger around her drink. “I don’t remember much about him. Just snippets like when we could go outside and play ball or something.”
She paused her finger, her eyes darkening. “He died in a freak accident. A car crash. He left my mother and me alone in the pack without any backup plan for if he ever got hurt or died. No one ever thought he would die so soon. The rules of the pack were pretty simple. It stated that my mother was supposed to be a widow for the rest of her life.”
Levi scowled, finding that hard to be true. Who would want to do such a thing? Considering Hannah had been little meant her mother must have been still fairly young herself.
“She was supposed to be alone for the rest of her days until she died and met up with him again. They said it was a religious reason, but honestly, I’m quite sure it was because they wanted my mother to slip up. They wanted to get rid of anything that reminded them of my father. She was seen with another man. Nothing happened between them. It was only six months after my father’s death.”
She rubbed her hands together, taking a deep breath in. “But that was enough evidence for the pack to throw us out. My mother tried to fight it up until she couldn’t. We were forced to move and find somewhere else to live. I understand it was hard, losing her husband and then her home. I couldn’t understand the pain my mother was going through.”
Hannah took another deep breath while stirring her drink. “I understood she was struggling. I was understanding until she turned to alcohol for her answer to everything. My childhood was over the second she opened her first bottle. She became an alcoholic, and I had to somehow keep us afloat.”
He watched Hannah relax a little like it took a weight off her shoulders to say everything. He could sympathize with her. He always thought it was hard making decisions, but he had his father to back him up.
He never wanted to live in his father’s shadow, but he also knew his father was there if he ever needed a hand. He was grateful to his father at that moment, understanding not everyone got that in life. Hannah hadn’t.
“I’m not sure how much it helps,” he said softly. “But I am here if you ever want to talk about it. I know I can’t give you your childhood back, but I hope I can show you that you don’t have to close yourself off to everyone.”
She smiled down at the table, her green eyes flicking up to meet his. It made his heart leap, and he would do anything to keep that smile there.