Tim chuckled. “You’ve got that eat-shit-and-die look in your eyes right now. You want to stomp me into the ground? It might help you loosen up a bit. Go ahead. Beat my ass.”
I snorted, shaking my head. Now he was being a wise ass. I could never beat on my best friend. “Not gonna happen.”
Annika squeezed my hand, and I jerked my gaze to hers. It only took seconds to be lost in her pretty blue stare. When Annika looked at me, shesawme. She didn’t see the beast on the outside, she noticed the man underneath. Ifelther interest, her sincerity. I’d denied it at first, not wanting to believe that she might actuallyseeme. But she did. Annika was different. I don’t know why I ever thought she would run from me in terror. She’d suffered a childhood trauma as well. We had something in common. There was no disgust in her eyes when she looked at me. In fact, there neverhadbeen. I’d never seen fear or revulsion or anything that might hint she was disgusted by my looks.
She cares.And so did Tim, teasing aside.
It occurred to me in that moment that these two people right here cared more about me than anyone else in the world.
Annika cares.
Warmth spread in my chest. But was I nothing more than a stray dog in her eyes, a wounded animal to be pitied? Sure, we were “friends,” but would I ever mean anything more to her? Fuck if I didn’t want her to love me for me, hideous scars and all. And not just as a friend.
Tim cleared his throat, jolting me out of my thoughts. I’d been staring into Annika’s eyes, but now I pulled my gaze away, my face heating.
“What are you two planning? And what can I do to help?” Tim asked.
Annika glanced at me. “What do you think, Adrik? How do you want to do this?”
My heart slammed into my ribs. I was about towillingly let a dog near me. What if I broke down and completely lost it?
I let out a nervous laugh.Baby steps.
“How about if I sit down and think about it for a minute?”
Annika smiled. “Sure. The couch?”
I puffed out a breath. “Yeah. Give me a few minutes, then you can get Harley.”
Pulling my hand from hers, I headed toward the living room.
Sinking onto the huge, sectional couch, I put my face in my hands and tried to psyche myself up for what I was about to do.
It’s just Harley. He likes you. He won’t bite.
Several moments later, Annika appeared in front of me, halting her chair a few feet away. “You ready?”
I groaned. “You must think I’m a nutcase. A grown man afraid of a dog.”
Compassion filled her gaze. “I think no such thing. You wereattackedas a child, Adrik.Traumatized.What happened to you washorrifying.Anyonewho went through what you did would be mentally and emotionally scarred. And then you went through two horrific years of horror in that warehouse. It might be hard to admit as a grown man that you were traumatized, but it’s the truth, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
I hissed out a breath. “What, exactly, am I supposed to do, anyway? Pet him? Stare at him and try not to freak out?”
She wheeled her chair closer until her knees brushed mine. I gulped, holding her stare. “Whatever you want. But…can I make a suggestion?”
I expelled a breath. “Yeah.” Her knees were touching mine. How could I not think about anything else but her when she was near?
“If it gets to be too much and you feel panic closing in, just close your eyes and think of something that makes you feel good. That was how I first dealt with my panic attacks, before I learned how to play the piano.”
I jerked my head in a nod. “Okay.”
Tim entered the room with Harley on a leash.
My pulse stuttered. I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip.
It’s just Harley. Just Harley.
“Adrik?” Tim called. “Want me to bring him closer?”