“Not much. He comes in the pub sometimes, but that’s about it.”
“I heard Felix is back too?”
“Just for the summer, not for good.” Seren really didn’t want to get into a conversation about Felix. After pushing her sunglasses into place, she gazed out to sea for a moment. The vastness of the blue-green water made her problems feel slightly less overwhelming. Finally, she snapped her eyes back to Mirren. “Can I ask your advice about something?”
“Always.”
Seren inhaled deeply. The situation with Kit was made more frustrating by having no one to talk to about it. But there was no reason she couldn’t ask Mirren’s advice if she didn’t mention who they were talking about and kept things vague.
“I take it from the look on your face that it’s man trouble?” Mirren prompted.
“Yes.” She caught a drop of condensation that slid down her water glass. “There’s someone I like, but it’s a bit complicated.”
“Who is it?”
Seren chuckled. “I’m not telling you that.”
“It was worth a try,” she said with a smile. “Do I know him?”
Seren did her best to look thoughtful. “You’ve probably seen him around.”
“Why is it complicated? Is he with someone else? Please tell me he’s not married or anything?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Does he like you?”
“He says so.”
“If you like him and he likes you, why is it complicated?”
“You know me and my habit of falling for the wrong guys. I’m worried it would end up being a lot of drama and upset.”
The corners of Mirren’s lips twitched upwards. “That doesn’t usually stop you.”
“True. But I think it’s time I started being more sensible in my choices.” She winced. “I can’t stop thinking about him, but it feels all wrong.”
“Trust your instincts,” Mirren said. “If it feels wrong it probably is. When you find the right person, you’ll know without a doubt.”
“Maybe.”
She didn’t like to mention that it wasn’t the thought ofbeingwith him that felt wrong. It was the fact that their lives were already so intertwined that being with him felt like too much of a risk. Any previous drama with guys would pale into insignificance if she got together with Kit and things didn’t work out.
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
On Tuesday Seren was on her way to the supermarket when she checked her watch and realised that Kit’s afternoon train ride was due to set off. Without much thought, she walked in the direction of the beach, wondering if she might make it in time to at least catch a glimpse of him. She was almost there when the train pulled up the road towards her. The fact that Kit was in a moving vehicle meant she couldn’t speak to him, but it felt good to set eyes on him.
He was speaking to the passengers over the PA system but smiled at Seren and lifted his chin in acknowledgement. Her heart felt like it was being crushed and she stood rooted to the spot as she watched him go by.
Seeing him in passing was nowhere near enough. It never would be. She needed to hang out with him and joke around like they always had done. She wanted to touch him. To kiss him. She wanted everything, and increasingly she couldn’t remember why she thought she shouldn’t be with him.
At work that evening, she moved on autopilot. Her body was in the pub, but her mind was elsewhere, flitting between excitement at the idea of admitting her true feelings to Kit, then shrouded with doubts about the possible ways things could go wrong.
After spending most of the evening and a restless night chewing things over, she was still no closer to deciding what to do. To make things worse, it was her day off so she had nothing to do but contemplate. At the rate she was going, she’d drive herself crazy thinking about it.
With a rush of restless energy, she walked down to the harbour and waited for the inter-island ferry to take her to Bryher. The wind whipped at her hair, pulling strands from her ponytail as the boat trundled over gentle waves.
Once she’d disembarked at Anneka’s quay, she wandered slowly through the town and emerged at the opposite side of the island to look out over the beach at Great Par. Seabirds sailed on the breeze, filling the salty air with their squawks and cries. The sun on her face made Seren’s cheeks tingle and she pulled her hoodie off to tie it around her waist before continuing down to the beach. Slipping her sandals off, she squished her toes into the cool sand with every step.