“Yeah. I was going to call you in a bit.”
She screwed her nose up. “Are you okay?”
Seren glanced back to where the train would usually be parked. “I was hoping I might catch Kit but he’s already left. Have you seen him today?” One of the reasons she hadn’t replied to Keira’s message was because she didn’t think she could face spending the evening chatting about Kit. Now having someone to talk to was appealing.
“I called him this morning to see if I could go out on the train with him, but he didn’t answer the phone. When I messaged him, he fobbed me off.”
“Let’s go to my place. I’ve got wine.” They fell into step together. “I guess you heard what happened?”
“Yeah.” Keira’s smile was full of sympathy, but she didn’t say anything more.
“He’s going to avoid me from now on and things will be weird between us forever.”
“I’m sure things will be fine eventually. It’s understandable that he wants to hide away and lick his wounds for a while.”
“I feel like crap,” Seren admitted as they wandered along. “He’s the last person in the world I’d ever want to hurt.”
“It’s not as though you set out to hurt him.” Keira fell silent for a moment. “I have a confession to make,” she said when they were almost at Seren’s place.
“What?”
“I knew Kit liked you, and I encouraged him to tell you how he felt.” She looked genuinely remorseful. “I should have kept my opinions to myself, but I thought maybe you felt the same. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Seren fumbled for her keys in her pocket. “Kit’s not easily led. He wouldn’t have said anything unless he’d come to the decision himself.”
“It’s a shame you don’t like him back,” Keira remarked, following Seren inside and up the stairs. “Kit’s such a sweetheart. He’d make a great boyfriend.”
Seren’s heart pounded and she was terrified that her feelings were written all over her face. “I think so too,” she said weakly.
“You just don’t feel that way about him?”
“It’s hard to think of him as anything other than a friend.” She went to the fridge and busied herself with the wine. “He’s also really young.”
“Very mature though.” Keira leaned against the counter. “I’m probably being paranoid, but I’m concerned that he’s annoyed with me for encouraging him to speak to you. I’ve been telling myself that him not wanting me to go on the train with him today is only because he wants to be alone and not that he’s angry with me. It’s hard though. Kit’s been so welcoming and I was excited about working with him … now I’m not sure that will happen.”
Seren shook her head. “Kit won’t blame you. Even if he did, he’d forgive you in a second. He doesn’t hold grudges.” She passed Keira a glass of white wine. “He’s loyal. If he’s your friend, he’s your friend for life.” She smiled lightly. “I need to remember this too. Kit’s not going to avoid me forever. It’s like you said, he just needs some time. Who wouldn’t?”
“You’re right.” Keira clinked her glass against Seren’s. “Everything will be fine eventually.”
“How are you settling into island life?” Seren led the way to the couch, then listened as Keira chatted away, talking about the research she’d been doing to prepare for giving tours on the train. Enthusiasm radiated from her as she jabbered away.
Talking to Keira about Kit had made Seren feel more rational about the situation. It felt huge now but in time things would settle.
That’s what she told herself when she didn’t see Kit the following day, or the day after that. By Sunday, she was starting to think she might have made the worst decision of her life. With Kit on her mind constantly, she couldn’t help but think about the possibility of telling him the truth of how she felt. Would it really be so bad?
She messaged him again, saying she hoped he’d had a good week. It took him an hour to reply and then it was only with a thumbs up emoji. Her fingers hovered over the keypad, tempted to tell him that she missed him and couldn’t stop thinking about him. She even typed the words, then deleted them almost immediately.
To distract herself, she set off to visit Mirren. In the back of her mind, she thought Kit might be there or call up at some point. When she arrived, there was no sign of him, but she was on tenterhooks thinking he might arrive at any moment. That was if he didn’t see her car parked on the lane and turn around quick.
Sitting on the patio with Mirren under a dazzling blue sky, Seren wondered if she had any idea of the situation with her and Kit.
“Have you seen Kit?” she asked tentatively. “I thought he might be up here scrounging food from you.”
“Whenever I speak to him at the moment he’s busy. I’m pleased that Keira’s going to be helping with the train this summer. It should give him more of a break. Although he was talking about helping more at the lifesaving club. I guess he likes being busy.”
“I haven’t seen him much this week.” Seren pulled her sunglasses down her nose to peer at the friendly house sparrows hopping around beneath the table.
“Have you seen anything of Cadan since he’s been back?”