“I meet plenty of people at my job, you know that,” I reply, trying to deflect the issue.
“Yes, I know,” she agrees. “Mostly and probably ninety five percent recently married couples looking for a forever home, not available hotties you can plan a life with. I’m sure being a real estate agent must open plenty of doors for dating, though.”
I feel the small jab, and this time, I’m the one huffing in annoyance.
“There’s plenty of single men looking for houses and apartments, yes,” I try to argue, but Diana knows how much I've complained about them. How they’re always players that only want to hook up for a night, or too young to be taken seriously. What I want is a man, a man to share my life with, to have plenty of kids with.
To find the future dad to fill my life.
The love of my life if I’m lucky enough as well.
Memories from my weekend in Colorado with the girls come back to me, and I can’t help but grimace at what we did. It was a lot of fun, but maybe also a little cringe-worthy. I knew it was silly of me to put so much expectations upon it but at that moment, I didn’t even hesitate at the idea of it possibly working.
To hope it’d be the thing to make a difference.
To take me away from this never ending single-life.
To finally give me that happily ever after I’ve strived since I was child.
It was bad enough that I participated in the spell with my friends. But we were on vacation, and having fun, and more than a little tipsy. I can forgive myself for that night.
What’s far worse is that, back home, on my own, and stone-cold sober, I’d performed the rest of the ritual.
Like the sad spinster that I apparently am, I’d taken the pink candle Clarissa had sent me home with and secured it with the two-inch piece of yarn she’d included. I’d lit the candle and spoken the additional incantation beneath the light of the full moon:
Thank you Goddess for the blessings that come.
So mote it be.
Like a total idiot.
Since when did I becomethisdesperate?
“Brina, are you there?” Diana asks, bringing me back to the present.
“Yeah, sorry, I spaced out for a bit,” I say, finally slumping on the couch with resignation and hugging a cushion to my chest. My cheeks feel rather flushed of how desperate I did look and yet, I think I’ve tried about everything in the book at this point.
Am I destined to grow old with twenty cats?
“I’ve told you this before, and I’m going to say it one last time: if you want to find a man to love and that will love you back, the first thing to do is to meet him. To meet people. So, I’m urging you to get out there, to do something about it. If you don’t put yourself out there, you won’t ever find anyone. Give magic a chance. I mean, it’s Halloween after all, what about that work party you told me about last week?”
I look at the flier still on the table, and I shake my head.
“You know how much I don’t enjoy parties when I don’t know anyone that will be there.”
“I do, which is why I’m going to do you a favor and hang up right now, so you can go dig your closet for a costume, get changed, and go. If you really love me, do it for me, go to that party,” Diana almost begs. “Plenty of people you don’t know. You’ve said it yourself.”
Laughing now at Diana’s insistence and dramatic tone, I finally agree.
“Okay, okay, I can’t lose much going for a bit.”
“Yay!”
Diana’s voice booms in my ear as I pick the flier again, looking at the “Wyoming entrepreneurs and small business owners Halloween party.” A small note at the bottom says costumes are not mandatory but highly encouraged.
With that, I get up, saying goodbye to Diana and hoping I’m not going to regret this.
Alastair