And yet, my stomach tightens with worry as Clarissa begins to speak — and with excitement.
I don’t think this spell will work, but I sure as hell want it to. I sigh and listen to Clarissa’s words.
She speaks the words of the spell:
Goddesses of the north, south, east, and west
Bestow your blessings, your power best.
Fires of passion,
Waters of our hearts,
Winds of love.
To us, will you impart?
Bring us our soulmates, for this we plea.
With open minds and pure hearts, we implore
So mote it be.
Someone echoesso mote it bein a murmur, so I say the words too, holding on to the image in my head.
“Now, carefully dip your candle into the flames,” Clarissa instructs. “And when it catches, drip the pink wax onto your card. Once you have seven drops, release your request into the Goddess’ care by dropping the card into the fire. Blow out the candle when you are done, but do not break it. I’m going to have you take it home.”
Trembling with this strange and probably ill-placed anticipation, I step forward. I hesitate for a moment, closing my eyes tight.
Please, I think to myself, a prayer to the goddesses Clarissa invoke — or whoever orwhatevermight be listening.Please.
I’m so tired of being alone.
My heart pounding, I let the flames claim my card.
Sabrina
“Well, I’m just saying it sucks,” I say through the phone, shaking my head at the idea. “Not that I expected someone to come magically knocking on my door the minute I was back in my apartment, but I don’t know… I expected at least to meet someone new, to have some kind of opportunity knocking at my door, you know?”
There’s a pause before I hear Diana sigh on the other line and for a moment, I press my lips together.
Ugh, did I have to sound so desperate? I sure hope I don’t.
“Brina, it’s been like two weeks,” she reminds me, her tone is soothing like a parent would.
“Which is…forever at our age, isn’t it?” I can’t help but ask, gnawing at the bottom of my lips as I throw my hands up in the air. Getting up from the bed, I need to move or I’m going to seriously lose my mind soon enough. “I’m just saying how in the world do they make it look so easy in TV series and movies?”
“Well, what have you done in that time? Hole up at home and work?” she says, a little bit harsher even if I know she’s trying to be as patient and loving as possible. “I’m just saying you’re not exactly making it easier for yourself either, Sabrina.”
I pace the apartment as we speak, going back and forth around the huge lounge of my open plan living home. A home I worked hard to get, and maybe not the place I dreamed about when I was younger, but definitely a suitable place for someone in their mid-thirties like I am.
Well, late to mid, same thing.
The lounge is spacious, with a lovely gray L-shaped couch and coral cushions. The place is big enough to host a group of friends—or to raise a family one day. Obviously, this is something I considered when getting a place with two extra rooms, one to work as an office, and one to one day be a nursery—currently a bit of a deposit and messy art space. I always knew I’d like to upgrade to a house with a yard when the kids grew up, but without any kids in sight, there is no point yet.
Because, right now, I still live alone.
Utterly alone and I think I’m finally losing all hopes of ever finding the one or settling down.