We waited in the wings and whispered our lines in a quick run-through. I didn’t like watching anyone audition for the same part as me because I didn’t want to pick up anything they were doing and subconsciously do it, if that makes sense. I was so nervous and excited. Heath always said this was the best time of our lives and one day we’d realise that but not now because we had our eyes on the prize. I wondered if I’d ever feel that way. I didn’t want to be the one who didn’t make it.
Then, we heard the casting agent thank the two on stage. We were up.
‘Kyle, Catherine, next,’ she called, and with a brief smile to each other, we took the stage.
Immerse yourself, immerse yourself, I coached.
The casting agent introduced herself as Tamara and gave us the same spiel she gave the first two, which was nice of her because she could have just said, ‘What I said to them still stands.’ She was probably mid-forties and pencil-thin. It was accentuated by her black pencil skirt and a crisp white top. She had on excruciatingly high heels so I suspect she was lucky to hit my shoulder height without them.
‘So, Kyle, Catherine, this is a desperate scene, a pivotal scene for these two characters in the film,’ she said, and we nodded our understanding. Tamara continued.
‘Kyle, you’ve had a gutful. You want out of this life. You loved Catherine’s character once and now you hate to see her wasted like this; you want to take her away from it all but she can’t leave. She has a kid to support and a debt to pay back and an addiction to feed.’
Kyle nodded. ‘Thanks, Tamara, got it. Angry, frustrated, desperate.’
She gave him a nod and a smile and then turned to me.
‘Catherine, you love Kyle’s character and you know this is your last chance to be with him, but you can’t just run off with him. You feel like you have to stay for all the obligations you have to meet. To do that, you have to release him and watch him walk away. You also want that drug hit more than you want life itself at the moment.’
‘Thank you, Tamara,’ I nodded, and she squeezed my shoulder as she took the stairs carefully in her heels and went back to her seat.
I’ve got this. I am feeling this already, I just have to superimpose Heath’s face on Kyle’s and tell him I have to stay here, I have to do this and I’ll nail the emotion.
‘Ready?’ Kyle asked.
I nodded. I was in the space; I didn’t want to waste words.
Tamara called out, ‘In your own time.’
Kyle began and spat his words at me, then he grabbed my hand and I pulled away. I began to shake and tell him he didn’t understand. I told him I loved him but he could run away, I didn’t have that freedom, I had to do this. I delivered the lines about him putting me under pressure and cried when his shoulders slumped with my wounding words.
When Tamara called cut, I stood up straight. For just the smallest moment I had forgotten she was there and that we were acting. I wiped my face and Kyle grinned and hugged me.
‘You were great. We did alright I think,’ I said, near his ear as we hugged.
‘Fucking hope so,’ he said, and grinned.
And then we heard slow applause and turned to see a tall man walking towards the stage clapping us. He was gorgeous, fair with short hair and clean-shaven. And so charismatic, I knew him –Edgar Linton!
‘Bravo, we’ve found our whore and pimp, thank you to everyone else who came,’ he said and dismissed the waiting actors, even those who hadn’t auditioned yet.
Kyle beside me gave a whoop of delight.
My face lit up. ‘Edgar!’
‘Well, hello again, Catherine.’ He looked around, put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. ‘No fan club?’
I laughed; I knew he was referring to Heath. ‘No, he’s in Oxford rehearsing for a play.’
I could see Tamara looking surprised that we knew each other. Edgar offered his hand to Kyle, they shook, and Edgar told him it was good work. I think Kyle floated off-stage.
Edgar glanced at his watch and then at Tamara.
‘I think I’m done here for the day,’ he said, and Tamara nodded.
‘I’ve got a few extras to cast and it’s a wrap, Edgar,’ she said. Everyone was on a first-name basis with him.
He looked back at me. ‘It’s after four, officially drinking hour. Care for one? I’ve earned it.’