“How about just pick the place that freaked you out and start there. If I need you to backtrack, we can do that later.”
“Yeah, okay. It’s just . . .”
“What?” I asked.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m not sure I should be telling you this. But, then again, you probably already know.” He laughed, but there was no humor in it.
“Would it help if I told you that whatever is said here stays between us?”
“Yeah, but I’m not sure that’s possible. Geez, this is so fucked up.”
“Okay, take another breath and just try to get it out.”
“So, Larken called the whole cast and crew together today at HQ. Said she had something to tell us. She started by dropping a bomb and revealing that she wasn’t who we thought she was. Like she even changed her voice and everything. Then she went into a story about her childhood. Leroy, it was tragic. Like so, so bad. I just wanted to hug her. But then she got to the meat of it, and it hit me all of a sudden.”
“What hit you?”
“She’s the one who ran away from Balance of Light. TheblasphemerFather always goes on and on about. The one that nobody is allowed to speak about. She actually called the family a cult.”
Oh. Oh, shit.
“Damn, Turner.” I huffed out a breath through my nose, my heart racing as I wondered how to share with Turner what I knew—and didn’t—without sending him into another panic attack. I leaned back and employed some of the breathing techniques I had just shown him on myself.
“So . . . yeah, that’s Starling. We grew up together. We were best friends, actually. Nearly inseparable. When I went to the restaurant to meet Larken for our date the other night, it initially hit me like a semi, too—seeing her again after all these years. But she didn’t tell me anything about her past—the bits that I didn’t know anyway—the stuff that she obviously told you guys. She just told me that there was a lot I didn’t know, that she had left for very good reasons, and asked me not to talk about it or ask any questions. Said shecouldn’ttalk about it. I respected her wishes because it was just so good to see her, and I could tell she wasn’t readyto get into it.”
Turner had started wringing his hands, and I knew that he was getting agitated again. I reached out and started tapping on his knee again, getting him to focus on that subconsciously and breathe, even as I continued.
“Aside from the things she told you that she clearly hasn’t yet told me, what was so bad about that—other than her calling it a cult? I know that likely hit hard. I’ve had other friends joke about that, and had to set them straight. But to be fair there, a lot of people think that if a group is living together communally, it automatically makes them a cult. And if there really were bad things that happened within her family, maybe that’s just her way of dealing with it. Who knows? Besides, it only matters what we think, right? Outside of that, though, I think it’s kind of cool that the three of us have that tie.”
“You don’t get it.” Turner shook his head, and I saw the tension rachet up in his body. “When I left home the last time, Mom had just found out her cancer was back. She sat me down and told me something I hadn’t known for my entire life. I have a sibling.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and glanced to the side, his leg bouncing.
I reached out and put a hand on him again, stopping the motion and returning his focus to me. “First, Turner, I’m so, so sorry about your mom. How long ago was that?”
“Three years,” he said. “About the time that you and I hooked up again. She was doing well. Unfortunately, that didn’t last.”
“I’m really sorry.” I shook my head and hoped the empathy I felt came through in the look I gave him. “As for the sibling thing . . .? That’s big news. And kind of awesome. Do you know where they are?”
“I didn’t, no. Mom asked me to find her when she told me about her relapse. Said that all she wanted before she died was to see her baby girl one last time and know that her kids had met and would have each other.”
“So, have you been looking?”
“I have, digital deep-diving and trying to get a lead that I could follow, but I was coming up empty.” He looked up at me, and I felt the world fall out from under me. My chest seized, and it felt like someone had reached inside and grabbed hold of my heart. This poor damn kid. There was more to this. There was something he was really struggling with, and my gut churned because I thought I had begun to connect the dots. But . . .
“Turner, which of your dad’s women is your mom?” Lionel had started taking additionalwivesat least fifteen years ago, but he had been sleeping with many other women before that. It wasn’t really a secret in the family. It was simply another of the society’s beliefs I never bought into. They believed that multiple prophet-sanctioned relationships and marriages led to additional children of strong unions, which could be used in the Balance of Light spiritual army at the end of days. The only caveat was that only the chosen could take more than one life partner—only Father Lionel and his lieutenants.
“Dawn,” Turner whispered. “Dawn is my mom. Just like she’s Starling’s mom. And Larken is Starling.” He looked up at me, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
“Leroy, Lark is my sister.”
Chapter10
~Larken~
Monday morning dawned bright and beautiful. I’d gotten the coolest picture of the sunrise through the Causeway Bridge this morning while out on my run. The colors and light and shadow were so perfect that I figured I might even blow it up, frame it, and hang it somewhere. It could be an awesome addition to HQ. The space down there could use some brightening up.
Now, I was enjoying a chocolate croissant and some café au lait on my little deck slab out back, thinking about how my life had changed so dramatically in mere days. I felt a strange sense of relief that the team knew my story now and that I didn’t have to pretend while around them any longer. I still had a part to play for the show, but despite the fact that we were a paranormalrealityTV series and what we did and saw and showed on screen was all real, we were still actors. Me embracing the persona I had nurtured for the last three years while the camera was rolling wouldn’t be a hardship. It was a part of who I was now. But being able to be me, jagged edges and all, with my friends and the family I’d chosen, was a balm to my soul.
I was feeling weirdly anxious today, though, and I hadn’t been able to nail down why, exactly. It could be the excitement of officially getting back to work today for the first time since our hiatus afterThe Lamour Affliction, or that Kholt was back in my life—even if just on the periphery—and I hadn’t figured out how to process that yet.