Holden’s eyes widen and I almost apologize, but instead, I just look at the floor. My leg bounces. I’m uncomfortable, I’m overwhelmed, I want my babies here so I can love on them. Then my back won’t hurt, I won’t feel like I need so much help, and ...
“Sophie.” Holden sits next to me. “What’s going on?”
Nick groans. “What a long day.”
“I’m so full! I won’t be able to eat for a week. Soph did a hell of a job.” Gunner answers.
I just get up and go to my room. I know I won’t be alone for long. Even if it’s for a few minutes, I don’t want to be needed. I don’t want to be wanted, I just want to exist. I lay in bed, curling around my body pillow, and take a few deep breaths.
“It’s not them,” I whisper to myself.
“Baby.” Holden sits behind me. “Do you ... do you want to be alone?”
Telling him yes makes me feel selfish. So I say nothing. He strokes my hip, then gently rubs my shoulder. “I’m done.”
“You don’t know what ‘done’ is, handsome.” I manage to keep the tone out of my voice.
“I’m not going back to work.” He says seriously. “I’m going to be here.”
“Cool.”
“Later?” He asks.
I take a slow breath and pull his arm around me. “Why are you done?”
“Because I don’t like seeing you like this. You’ve been stressed for a week.”
“I’m not-”
“You’re independent. I know youcando everything, but you don’thave to.” Holden insists. “Two kids, two more on the way, the holidays going on and so much to get done. Fuck the office. The other employees and the other guys can take care of it. Or we can stagger how we go in. We’re not leaving you home to do all this.”
I roll over and hide my face against Holden’s chest. “I want to do it all.”
“I know you do.”
“It’s so exhausting and then I get mad and ... I don’t want to snap at the kids.”
“You are overworked, baby.” He whispers. “You do so much and we have a house of seven people. That’s way too much for anyone.”
I just lay there in Holden’s arms. I exhale slowly. “I need you to hook a battery up to me.”
He chuckles and spends the rest of the night cuddling me, loving on me. I fall asleep fast. I’m surprised when the kids don’t wake me up in the morning. I’mshockedwhen I find breakfast on the table next to me with a card.
All the guys have signed it. They promise to take care of more in the house. I rub my belly and go back to sleep. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was. The next day, I feel better. I’m able to get back into the swing of things.
It becomes easier. All the guys help out and I find out how much I like doing chores with them. Gunner sings while he cleans – always off key – but it makes us laugh. Nick works with the kids on picking up their toys and bribes them with their Halloween candy.
Roman owns the kitchen, which includes all the dishes inside it. But it’s an adjustment. I’m used to doing and doing constantly, so when the guys take me on a date after the first week of December, I don’t really know what to do with myself.
“The kids,” I ask.
“With your parents. They’re fine.” Nick keeps guiding me to the door.
“Laundry?”
“I did it.” Gunner pulls me back to the door.
“What about-”