And suddenly, I was filled with the need to wrap my arms around him. Him. Myfriend.
If kissing didn’t work out, how could we remain friends?
I cleared my throat and stepped away from Nick. “Where do the stairs go?”
“Let me show you.” If Nick noticed my nerves, he didn’t let on. He continued to smile and appeared genuinely enthused about his tour. “It’s an apartment. My apartment.” He stopped at the bottom step and faced me, smile fading because I wasn’t smiling.
This could be our apartment.
We stood staring at each other.
Thoughts of kisses and romance filled my head once more. Everything was moving too fast. But it was tempting.Hewas tempting.
I cleared my throat again, trying to clear those thoughts away. “Your friend Allie wants to see where you’ll be living, Nick.”
Nick’s smile couldn’t quite cover his disappointment. He led me up a creaky, narrow set of stairs. “The realtor mentioned I could put a lock on the stairway door and rent it out. You know, after I outgrow the space.”
Settle down and get married, he meant. Have babies, he meant.
With me?
We climbed the stairs and reached the landing. As below, it was a narrow space. There was a long hallway with one small bedroom and a bathroom. And then the stairway ended, revealing a small galley kitchen and decent sized living room whose windows overlooked the street where we’d parked. There was dust on the floor and cobwebs in the corners.
It didn’t matter. It was a charming space and I immediately felt at home, the way Nick made me feel at home. I walked toward the windows. “You could knock down the kitchen wall and have all this open.”
“That’s what I thought, too.” He followed me, giving me space.
I wasn’t sure I wanted it. But I needed to, didn’t I? Geez, I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
We stood at the windows, taking in the view.
“I can see the star on top of the town square Christmas tree.” I pressed my nose to the glass to look the other way. “And the flashing beacon on top of the Christmas River bridge.”
“There’s no apartment or offices on the second story directly on the other side of the street, which gives it some privacy.”
“I see now why you like it.” It felt like a good place to start a new life, despite the dust bunnies and cobwebs.
Impulsively, I turned and hugged him. “I’m so happy for you.”
But what about me?a small voice inside me cried.
And the sad part was that I didn’t know the answer to that question.
ChapterTwelve
My brother Timwas waiting for me when I got home that night.
He sat wrapping presents on the carpet at the foot of the Christmas tree with his ear buds in.
I hung up my coat and removed my boots. “What are you doing wrapping Christmas presents so early? That’s not like you.”
He didn’t answer. But then again, how could he have heard. Music blared through those ear buds, indistinguishable beyond the boom-boom-boom of the beat.
I walked over to him, waving to catch his attention.
He tapped an ear bud and the music cut out. “I’m wrapping presents now because I have a busy couple of weeks ahead of me.”
I perused his gifts. “Would you like some help?” He had no skill. His corners lacked sharp angles. Excess paper was rolled and flattened. He’d slapped on stickered bows instead of using ribbon as accents.