She shakes her head. “You’re not listening to me, Joey. I’m not marrying into the Family. Nothing is going to change that.”
I look at her for a long time but can’t think of any brilliant reply that would change her mind.
She puts a hand over her abdomen. “I just want to be alone right now, okay?”
Fanculo.Leaving feels wrong on every level. But I can’t very well stay if she doesn’t want me. “Yeah, okay. I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”
“You don’t have to,” she says as I walk toward the door to show myself out.
“Well, I’m going to.”
The finality of the click of the door locking behind me rents my very soul.
It can’t be over.
I refuse to let Sophie go without a fight.
Sophie
I flop on my back on my bed, tears streaming out the corners of both eyes.
I lied to Joey about the baby. I didn’t miscarry.
I just knew he would never let me go if he thought I was still carrying his child. It’s not in his nature. He’s honorable and stubborn and doesn’t give up, so if he thought he had a child in the world, he would want to protect and provide for that child. He would do what he believed was right and make an honest woman out of me. He’s old-fashioned like that.
And knowing that tears my heart out of my chest. Knowing I’m pushing away an amazing, decent, beautiful man. That I’m going to keep him from knowing his own child. That I’m going to give up seeing him. Knowing him. Letting him become familiar.
It’s bad enough that I’m quite certain I’ll never find another lover like him. No man will ever compare to what Joey’s given me in the bedroom. His willingness to explore my kinky side with me. His dominance the perfect match to my desires.
I’ll need to leave town.
That’s my new reality.
I’ll need to get out of New Jersey in the next few months before I start to show.
I can think about that right after I manage to stop the non-stop tears. I know pregnancy messes with hormones, but I’m a disaster.
A total mess.
I can’t stop thinking about Joey. Missing him.
Wondering if I made a mistake.
But no. I didn’t. As wonderful and magical as my time with Joey was, he’s not the one.
He can’t be.
Because his mom was right–I’m not doingLa Cosa Nostraagain. I just can’t. My heart wouldn’t survive.
Joey
I call Sophie, but she doesn’t pick up.
I’ve called every day since she broke up with me, but she hasn’t answered once.
My pulse picks up speed when a text from her comes through.I stopped bleeding. It’s over. Please don’t call again.
I knew Sophie would be a hard-sell for a long-term relationship. It felt like fate intervened with the pregnancy to help her get over her hang-ups with the Family. But now I’ve lost her.