“Really?” Layla sounded surprised but covered it by adding in an enthusiastic voice. “Well, that’s great! Tell me all about him. Is he okay with the whole single mom plan and everything?”
“Um, well, he’s kind of the sperm donor.”
“What!” Layla sucked in a breath. “Oh my God, you’re kidding me.”
“No, we met and things just clicked in a totally weird way. But it feels so right, Layla. Noah is so sweet and understanding and—”
“And sexy. He’s a total hunk, right?”
“Yes, he’s a total hunk,” she said, her cheeks heating as she remembered what it felt like to be pinned beneath him on the quilt last night. “But he’s also smart and gentle and crazily, he seems to feel the same way about me that I feel about him. Like there’s this connection between us that we can’t ignore.”
Layla made a thoughtful sound. “And why is that crazy, babe? You’re a pretty impressive package, yourself. Sweet, beautiful, smart, funny, and one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”
Yasmin blinked against the unexpected stinging at the backs of her eyes. “Well, thanks. But I’ve also proven I’m not always the best judge of character, Layla. What if I’m making a mistake, taking this guy at face value?”
“This is about Clint, right?” Layla asked, her voice sobering. But she had every reason to be sober. Clint had killed her brother-in-law’s first wife and left scars on the Lawson family that would never completely heal, no matter how many years passed or how many new loves were found or new babies were born.
“I can’t pretend it didn’t happen, Lay. I can’t pretend I didn’t want to settle down and play house with a serial killer.”
“No, you wanted to settle down and play house with a kind, generous, handsome, seemingly normal guy who knew everyone’s name and never let your drink get empty. Clint put on a very good front, Yasmin. No one saw through him. It took a psychic to see him for what he really was.”
“I know, but—”
“There are no buts in this situation,” Layla said firmly. “And you can’t let that nightmare haunt you for the rest of your life. You deserve a wonderful guy, Yazz. And if your gut is telling you this Noah person might be the one, you owe it to yourself to give him a chance.”
“But how can I know that this time is really different?” she asked, pulling her knees to her chest and gazing out at the robin’s egg blue sky, praying for a sign. “How do I know I won’t live to regret taking a chance with Noah the same way I regret all the other losers I’ve loved and lost. Maybe I would be better off convincing him to be my donor and parting as friends. I’m ready to get started on the rest of my life, Layla, not waste another year or more waiting to see if this guy is the right guy and being disappointed for the umpteen millionth time.”
Layla clucked her tongue. “Sounds to me like someone’s got a bad case of the chicken shits.”
Yasmin wrinkled her nose. “I am not chicken. And even if I were, so what? Don’t I have a right to be afraid? Maybe even an obligation to be afraid?”
“You have every right to be afraid, and believe me, I know what it’s like to lose faith in your own judgment, but you’re not a coward. You’re one of the strongest people I know. And the Yasmin who could make a cowboy blush from his hat to his boots with a wink and a smile isn’t going to be happy living life alone. Not long term.”
“But—”
“Tell me one thing—when you’re with this Noah, what does it feel like? Is it butterflies and nerves and the ground tipping beneath your feet?”
Yasmin frowned. “Well, no. From the moment I met him, I felt…safe with him. Like we’ve known each other for a long time. There’s electricity, and attraction for sure, but no nerves. Is that crazy?”
“No.” Layla hummed happily. “That’s the way it was with Cole. It’s like the moment I met him my soul knew that I’d found home.”
A deep masculine voice murmured in the background and Layla giggled. “Cole says hi, by the way. We’re nursing our coffees while the baby sleeps in.”
“How is little chubby cheeks?” Yasmin asked, grateful for a chance to change the subject. “Still disgustingly adorable?”
“Yes. Completely.” Layla launched into a rapt, new-mommy update, filling Yasmin in on all of Baby Lawson’s feats of cuteness until a tiny cry sounded from somewhere in the background.
“Speak of the devil,” Yasmin said laughing. “Guess her ears were burning, too.”
Layla laughed. “I guess. All right, I’ve got to run, but call me later if you need to talk some more. I’m always here for you babe, no matter how many miles there are between us.”
“Will do,” Yasmin said. “And thank you, Layla. You give me hope.”
“I’m glad,” Layla said. “Talk soon.”
Yasmin hung up and stood, crossing the cozy kitchen to fetch more coffee, then turning back to gaze out the window onto the tidy front yard and the fields beyond. Fields that were peaceful and lovely but offered no whisper of a sign as to which path she should choose.
“And since when have you stood around waiting for a sign,” she said, slugging back a drink of creamy, sugary coffee. She didn’t know if it was the caffeine or the talk with an old friend, but she suddenly wasn’t in the mood to wait around for the universe to nudge her in one direction or the other.