Max: Is she okay?
Me: Honestly, I don’t know.
Max: If you need anything…
Me: I can handle it.
I still hadn’t figured Max out, but he seemed genuinely concerned.
And I didn’t know if it was a good thing…
Or a bad thing.
Two hours, twenty-three minutes, and ten seconds. That’s how long I lay there, holding her.
My arm was dead, my neck ached, and I was slowly losing feeling in my toes, but she was worth it.
She was worth every long second.
“N-Nix?” she murmured, rousing beside me.
“Hey,” I said with a faint smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Embarrassed.” She flushed. “I’m so sorry I—”
“What did I tell you, B? No apologies. Not now, not ever.” I swept my thumb along her cheek. “You should have told me.” She frowned, so I added, “About Michael and Sabrina.”
“I… I didn’t know how.”
Because for nine months she’d believed I’d abandoned her. For nine months, Harleigh had believed she was all alone in the world.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“I’d rather not. And not because I don’t trust you or I don’t want to share things with you, Nix. I do. I swear. I just… it makes me so angry. I’m scared of what could happen if I… if I let myself keep reliving it.”
Tears welled in her eyes again, and I leaned down, cupping her face and kissing each brow. A violent shudder rolled through her as Harleigh gripped my hoodie.
“You came for me,” she whispered.
“Well yeah, you’re my girl, B.” I’ll always come for you.
Silence settled between us, but it was lighter now. Strained but lighter. The need to fix this, to fix her still burned through me, gnawing my bones like acid. But there was no magic cure, no quick antidote for this. It was a part of who she was. Just another part for me to love, to understand and cherish.
Because all of Harleigh’s parts, even the broken ones, made her who she was today. And there wasn’t a single inch of her I didn’t adore.
“How are you feeling? About the game?”
I gazed down at her. “It’s just a game, Harleigh.” You’re more important.
“We both know that’s not true, Nix. It’s your chance to get out of this place. This life.” Exhaustion clung to her words making them heavy.
“Can I tell you something?” I whispered.
Harleigh turned to me, putting us face to face. “Anything.” She smiled. A small uncertain smile, but it was enough.
Enough that I said, “Going to college… leaving The Row… playing for Albany U… it all fucking terrifies me.”
“It does?” No judgment shone in her eyes, only mild surprise.