“Seventy-eight times I wrote to you and didn’t send them. Once I even drove to Dallas to seeyou.”
My fingers freeze in shock on his neck, and my hips stop swaying under hishands.
Tyler came to seeme?
Emotions blur together in my chest, my stomach, each one colliding with the next—grief, sadness, love,gratitude.
I blink back the suddenstinging.
He doesn’t get to say that as if it can make everythingbetter.
He can’t take back that he left. We can’t go back to a time when we were innocent and wanting. I’ll never again be that earnest girl, and he won’t be that guardedboy.
In the DJ booth, I see Rae watching the crowd. At the bar, Elle’s talking with Beck, their gazes flicking to us, thenaway.
Once more, I start to move to themusic.
I cover Tyler’s hands with my smaller ones, threading my fingers in the spaces between his and squeezing them. I pull one hand off me and bring it to my lips, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to hispalm.
I feel his reluctant groan against myback.
I do the same with the other palm, rubbing my ass against him at the sametime.
This time, his teeth capture my earlobe, making me shiver. “You’re teasingme.”
“Then ask me to stop.” I turn my profile toward him, rewarded by his hot mouth on my cheek, trailing dangerously close to the corner of mylips.
“No.” His breath mingles with mine. “I wantyou.”
I take a moment to feel those words settle into my body. My arousal swells, throbbing like the music aroundus.
I want himtoo.
But that’s not what this is about, and wanting was never ourproblem.
I turn to face him, pulling out of hishold.
His tortured expression is full of desire and something more meaningful. It’s that something that calls to me, that has me second-guessing myplan.
I ignore it and lift my chin, my heart still hammering in my chest as I take a steadying breath. “Good. Now you know what it feelslike.”
It takes every bit of self-control in me to turn and walk away without lookingback.
8
Iknew going homefor the weekend would be a minefield, but it’s even more treacherous than I imagined. All my dad’s friends are in one house to celebrate his award, and the table is full of friends bursting with well-intentioned and dangerouscuriosity.
“How’re classes?” Nina, my dad’s former tour manager, asks me over dinner Saturdaynight.
“Hard, but at least they’re interesting,” I say. “I have two essays and a project due before midterms.”So far, so good. I take a congratulatory bite of fettucine, cooked to perfection by the chef Dad and Haley hired when Sophie hit two and Haley started working again full-time.
“How’s Pen?” Haleyasks.
My stomach untwists a little. “Already planning her platform for student government. And shopping likecrazy.”
“You’re rooming with your friend?” Nina asks, and I take a slowbreath.
“Er… no. My roommate’s kind of different,” I tell them. “I think she sees me ascompetition.”