“Never watched those eyes get big when you imagined me fucking you, when you practically begged me to doit?”
The little shiver that overtakes her has me wanting to drop my lips to her jaw, see if it’s as soft as Iremember.
Applause in the distance tells me the previous performer has wrapped up, and someone shouts at me to take the stage, but I can’tmove.
She pulls back first, tucking her bag under her arm and sucking in a breath. “That’s exactly what I expect. This is my fresh start. No one’s going to mess it up. Not even you,Tyler.”
As she disappears down the stairs, I don’t feel anything likevindicated.
The only thing I can think is that I’d give everything I have to hear her say my nameagain.
5
“You weregreat at Leo’s lastnight.”
I look up from my notebook the next afternoon at the Vanier library to see a slender blond guy from class leaning over mychair.
“Jake,” he volunteers. “We survived acting intensive together withTalbot.”
“Right.” I smileback.
I don’t remember seeing him at Leo’s, but most of the night I was distracted—by my need to prove myself and by the one guy who could ruin my chances of doingthat.
“Homework?” Jake nods to mynotebook.
“No, actually. Justwriting.”
I used to force my brain to work in logic and answers and solutions. Getting good grades meant everything needed to fit into a cogentargument.
Now, I think in feelings.Emotions.
I don’t know if it’s an evolution or adevolution.
When I feel something, I drop it onto a page. The words flow out of me, contained by the paper. It keeps them from burning me alive, breaking me from theinside.
“Thanks for the compliment about last night,” I say. “It’s easy to get lost here there are so many goodpeople.”
“I know, right? Did you see that guy, Tyler something? He was the best of the night byfar.”
I smile tightly. “He was prettygood.”
I saw him. He waited for me backstage only to strip me bare with his hard gaze and his harder words. Then I watched him perform, reminding me he’s not only the most capable musician but magnetic enough you’d give your soul for another minute in hispresence.
And you practically volunteered that you aren’t supposed to behere.
Chalk it up to being caught off guard.Again.
It’s not enough to be in a new place trying to make my way—the one guy from my past has to be holding my secret over myhead.
Next time, I’ll beready.
But what the hell was he saying about me getting over him? Did he mean Beck? Is hejealous?
Impossible.
“Are you trying out for the fall showcase?” Jake’s words have meblinking.
“I heard only upper years getin.”