“East or West, who the fuck cares? This place is full ofeggheads.”
“Pen,” I say, unable to keep it in any longer, “Tyler kissed me lastnight.”
“And it was so good you didn’t call me immediately and instead lay in bed, staring out the window at the pool house, while you rubbed one out, like Gatsby looking at his damned greenlight?”
I cock my head at her as we head out of class. “Oddlypoetic.”
“Tell me I’m wrong,” she says as we pull up next to ourlockers.
I flick the lock and jerk the door open. “I didn’t stare out the window at the pool house while I got myself off, but I did leave the curtainsopen.”
Her laugh has me shaking myhead.
After leaving Tyler with Brandon last night, I tried to rehearse, to do homework, to play with Sophie while Haley worked in the kitchen and my dad watched his favorite home reno show, but eventually I gave it up and dragged my assupstairs.
And yes, I made myself come thinking of Tyler. It’s hard not to. The guy’s a walkingorgasm.
It’s not even about sex, which a few weeks ago I couldn’t have cared less about but suddenly feels more important than final exams, world peace, and what’s for breakfast puttogether.
It’s the feeling that every second we’re in the same room and I can’t touch him, can’t feel the warmth of his body, can’t smell his sunshine and cedar scent is awaste.
Being closer to Tyler isn’t something I “want.” Every part of my body insists that it’s necessary if I’m going to keepbreathing.
I know it’s stupid and high school, but I can’t let go ofit.
But even if some part of him does want me, he’s not impulsive like I am. He holds the world at a distance, and after learning how his dad treated him, I understand why he has troubletrusting.
And there’s a more immediate problem. If my dad finds out, he’ll lose his shit, but he won’t take it out onme.
He’ll take it out onTyler.
Which means he can’t findout.
“Well, if you want to know for sure what’s in his head…” Pen points at a sign hanging in thehall.
I laugh. “Prom is a four-letter word, Pen, and it’s this weekend, and we’rejuniors.”
“Tyler’s not. Get him to take you. Just the thing to take the edge off exams looming a few weeks away, where boyfriends and boy toys alike come to frolic under guise ofdarkness.”
I turn to follow Pen’s gaze and see a familiar outline at his locker with Brandon. Pen slams her locker and walks toward him. I trot after her,cursing.
“Hey, Tyler!” Pencalls.
He turns, his attention landing briefly on her before flicking to me. “Hey.”
His gaze travels down my body and back up again, and I want to squeeze my thighs together. I soak in the sight of him, his messy dark hair, the strong shoulders under his jacket, the loosened tie at hisneck.
Playing it cool, taketwo.
Except I don’t wantto.
I want to tell him I shaved my legs lastnight.
I want to cup my hands around his ear and whisper the rumor I just heard about our history teacher, and I want to know if he’ll laugh when Ido.
I want to strip the jacket off him, to unbutton that shirtand—
“So, I’m helping with tickets for prom,” Pen plows on. “How many can I put you down for? I have it on good authority you’re an excellent dancer.” Her eyes turnwicked.