I pull up sharply. That thought hadn’t occurred tome.
When Annie showed up at my door, half of me wanted to lock her out of my life and myheart.
The rest of me wanted to press her up against that same door and prove I’m worthy—of her trust, her hope, her damnedguitar.
I’m supposed to be in charge, but tonight she turned the tables. She was holding court, and I was on myknees.
“I can’t,” I hear myselfsay.
“Can’twhat?”
“Anything,” I grind out. “I can’t have her. I can’t ignore her. I can’t even look at her without wantingher.”
It’s a dangerous game. Not only because Jax would string me up, but because I’m supposed to be leaving and focusing on my future, scraping together the pieces of the hand I’ve been dealt to try to make a life for myself. Not lose my head by depending on a girl, letting her depend onme.
“Who says you’re supposed to?” Brandon shakes his head. “You want me to say Annie Jamieson doesn’t want something from you? You’re asking the wrong question. What you should be asking is, who’re the people in this world you wanna count on? Because none of us make it throughalone.”
14
Jenna’salways early to English. This morning I am too, looking up from her seat, my armsfolded.
“I know you took mypoem.”
She stops in front of me, avoiding my gaze. “I’m sorry, okay? I need to be on Carly’s good side. I’m not like you. You don’t need her. She knowsit.”
I shake my head, but I can’t find it in myself to be angry about the poem because I know what it feels like to want approval. “Carly’s going to turn on you again if you don’t give her enough shit onpeople.”
“I think I gave her enough,” she sayssoftly.
I move back to my seat, and the roomfills.
Brandon strides in, but there’s no sign of Tyler.Where ishe?
“Ugh. I’ve been trying to finish the fourth book you sent me since the weekend,” Pen says, dropping her things on her desk right before the bell. “It’s just getting real, where she’s blown off her entire family and set off with this guy around the world even though he’s keeping secrets from her. But debate’s brutal, and I was sequestered all night. And studentcouncil…”
Tyler walks in the door, and suddenly Pen’s talking Greek because I don’t get a word after my gaze locks on his tall frame, his messy hair, his cut jaw. The casual way he drops his books on the desk, then looks toward the back of theclassroom.
My breath sticks in my throat when his attention lands on me and his eyeswarm.
Morning, hemouths.
God, strike me down if that’s not the sexiest thing I’ve everseen.
Hey, I mouthback.
The teacher starts, and as Tyler turns toward the front of the room, I face palm.Hey? That’s the best I cando?
Wait. This is Tyler we’re talking about. I don’t need to try to impresshim.
Except I want to. Fuck my stupid heart, but I want him to think I’m the coolest girl he’s evermet.
He knows you’re not cool. You walked into his pool house, yelled at him, started crying, and he still kissedyou.
I bite my lip as I stare at the back of his head through the rest ofclass.
“You thinkGatsbyapplies universally?” Pen gripes at theend.
“It’s about the rise and fall of the American dream,” I respond, distracted. “It’s more relevant now than it was in Fitzgerald’s time. Today, the super-rich are people like Gatsby, new money from tech and finance, but there’s more inequality thanever.”