Double hell. This was a horrible idea, yet I found myself saying, “That’s fine.”
“When should I start?”
“Day after tomorrow.” Because Shiloh was moving in today, and one universe-altering event a day was enough for me.
7
SHILOH
Me:Can you trailer Sky for me today?
I stareddown at my phone, waiting for Hadley to reply. I usually used one of the trailers on the ranch, but I wasn’t sure my parents would be keen on letting me borrow it when they found out about my plans.
Hadley:Sure. When do you need me?
Me:How about now?
Hadley:On my way.
God, my little sister was a good one. No questions, just simply here to help. Maybe it was something innate from her years as an EMT. Or because she knew better than anyone how questions and demands for explanations could kill your soul. She’d been far braver in demanding her freedom, though.
I scanned the loft around me. I’d started packing up last night, but it wasn’t as if I had a lot of belongings. A duffel bagfull of clothes lay on my bed with a box of food next to it. I wasn’t really one for mementos—except for one thing.
I lowered myself to my knees and reached under the bed. My fingers grasped the edge of the old shoebox. I ignored the tightening in my chest as I took it in.He’s gone. You’re free.And for the first time, I was fighting for that freedom.
Shoving the box into my duffel, I zipped it closed, slung the bag over my shoulder, and picked up the container of food. Opening the door, I stepped onto the landing.
The first step was the hardest. The ranch had been my safe place for a long time. In my mind, nothing could touch me here. It was what made leaving so damned hard. Even just short trips into town were always a process: convincing myself that nothing would happen, that I was prepared if it did, and breathing through the anxiety and panic.
My boots echoed on the wood as I descended the stairs. One hand curled tightly around the box, the other clenching and flexing at my side. The familiar scents of hay and horses filled my nose. Would Ramsey’s barn smell the same? Or would his be just a bit different?
I shoved down the pang of fear that thought caused. Familiar had always been safe. I knew what to expect here. But that routine was killing me, one day at a time.
I stepped out into the sunshine. There was a bite to the air, but the sun took away the worst of the sting. Pulling open the door to my truck, I slid the box onto the passenger seat and tossed the duffel onto the floorboards.
The sound of tires crunching gravel had me lifting my head. Instead of Hadley’s SUV, I saw Hayes’ sheriff’s department vehicle. I muttered a curse under my breath as I slammed the door to my truck.
Instead of pulling up to the house, Hayes pointed his SUV in my direction. He came to a stop just feet away and slid out. “Hey, Shy.”
“Hey. How’s Ev?”
Shadows flitted across Hayes’ eyes. “She’s hanging in there.”
More of that ugly guilt clawed at my insides. I’d been rejoicing while Everly was suffering. I didn’t feel guilty for being relieved by Howard’s death. I felt guilty for not thinking of Ev more. She’d put me before every loyalty she had, simply to do the right thing. She’d snuck out of her home in the dead of night and rode down a mountain in the dark to the sheriff’s office to tell them where I was. In many ways, she’d lost her entire family that night. The price for doing the right thing was steep. And now, she was losing them all over again.
I kicked at a piece of gravel. “Do you think she wants to see me? Or should I stay away for a while?”
Hayes ducked down, forcing me to meet his gaze. “She always wants to see you.”
“I just…I’m a reminder.”
“So am I. But I’m with her every day. She needs her family right now, and that’s what we are.”
My throat burned, but I nodded. “I’ll stop by tomorrow morning.”
Hayes’ gaze shifted to the truck behind me. “You got plans today?”
My fingers tapped my thighs, and my muscles tensed, bracing for impact. I said the words on one long exhale. “I’m moving out.”