Time to apologize.
“I’m sorry I was an ass these past weeks and falling back on the promise I made to you. I am an asshole.”
Her hand stills in my hair and her stare turns analytical,“Haud yer wheesht! (Hold your tongue)Stop it, right this minute. Do not bring pity back into this, Zander. Ye are one of the strongest men I ken. It takes an immense amount of strength to go through what ye have.” Her brow furrows, “The pity party ends today, Alexander. Ye’re stuck with me. That’s final.” She settles herself into my arms and tilts her head to peer up at me.
I place my hand under her chin and gaze fondly into her eyes, “I love you.”
“I love ye, too.” She smiled, brighter than the moon and stars combined.
She is my Goddess Theia, shining her light upon me, casting the darkness far, far away. The demons cry out in agony now, scurrying to their cage and hiding in a corner.
The door to their prison cell is bolted closed, chains wrap around and around, and my guard stands tall by my side, not allowing any entity to hinder on my stability.
I am going to marry this woman someday; I knew it the moment I saw her. The tumultuous sea inside my disturbed mind is now soothed to sleep, and my shattered heart, what I’d thought to be forever encapsulated by grief and misery, is now bandaged by her touch.
Lili is my salvation.
I gaze dutifully at my siren, the mission I’ve assigned myself at an early age seems like a lifetime ago, my path coming to a fork in the road, endless options at my disposal, only one is the brightest.
The path with Lili.
I brush away damp strands of hair then cup her face and get lost in her stormy seas whisper clarity.
“Serving my country is what I believed to be my one true destiny. In actuality I am meant to beBattle Born for You, Liliana Hayes.”
Later on in the day, after a well needed cup of coffee and some toast, Lili parks her SUV near the entrance of a worn two-story brick building on the outskirts of the medical district in town. I know this building well, I’ve helped mom with her volunteering in city functions and community rallies. The food pantry is a big need for this area due to the only grocery store in a two-mile radius having shut down and thankfully a different store chain recently took over the building. Most who live and work around here are people who walk or take transit, getting to a grocery store and hauling it back on foot, especially in the winter, isn’t feasible.
Boxes of supplies and gifts in hand, we made our way to the double doors, entering as a loud siren wails in the distance, reminding me I should make plans to visit the cancer center, do my part and volunteer more often. This also reminds me to ask Maddie about taking her boys for the day, give her a break. Maybe she will be more compliant to do so if Lili is the one to bring it up.
I like this; making plans with her, supporting causes that hit home, and giving back to our loved ones and communities. Lili has taken on the role of supporting Buffalo and harboring pride for this area. My heart is full to bursting at this woman’s generosity and strength.
Once inside we locate the door we need and set the boxes down on the table near the entry door.
It doesn’t take long before we’re noticed.
*Six-year-old boy* “No way! Miss. Lili is here! Guys! It’s Miss. Lili!” A scrawny boy with short curly black hair and beaty brown eyes is dressed in a red Spiderman shirt and blue pants. He rushed into Lili’s legs, wrapped himself around one and screeched as he bounced up and down, “I’m so happy to see you! Do you bring me something? Did you?! Cuz you know I likes gifts. Your gifts are the best ones, EVER!”
Lili laughs, grins big, and pats his back, “would I come here without bringing ye something, Waylon? I think not.”
Waylon’s screech is borderline ear-splitting, or maybe it’s just the hangover and the echo in the room, “Really?!” His eyes are wide with untamed joy, “is it new paint? Miss. Gloria said I couldn’t finger paint any pictures until we gets more paint, sopleasesay you brought some, oh,PLEEEASE!” That last word comes out begging as he crosses his fingers on both hands and squeezes his eyes closed.
By the time he was done with his excited outburst and Lili gave confirmation about the paint, a crowd of twenty or so had formed around us, ranging in age from six to eighteen, some giving high-fives and fist bumps while others hang back and wait their turn to share in the excitement.
Everyone had a smile this day. Lili surprised the children with not only an abundance of art supplies, and toys, but also the necessities; cases of snacks for both the facility as well as to take home, simple meal starters, clothing, and personal items.
Miss. Gloria instills the music of Ella Fitzgerald and firm manners in every child she encounters, and it shows even now. Every kid was set to a task and had to make sure the items were put away in their proper places before they went off to play. She runs this place like a well-oiled machine, tending to these children as if they were her own.
This moment with Lili, the children, going back to my youth, and finding out how much one person can make a difference for others, I damn near wept glorified tears.
At the end of the day, tired for reasons other than dwelling in self-misery, I packed box after box of cards, drawings, and creations into the backseat of Lili’s vehicle. Her excitement at getting to open every single piece had her dancing in the driver seat and singing Andy Grammer’sKeep Your Head Up. We swung by my place, picked up Hank, my duffle bag, and my notebook, then ordered to-go from our favorite restaurant, adding in an extra piece of tiramisu for when we want to indulge our curiosities later.
Lili promised me she’d wear her short skirt and thigh high boots whenever I felt the need. She knows exactly how much of a fucking turn-on that outfit is, and loves teasing me to no end.
I want everything this woman will give me.
Once at her condo we were quick to enjoy our meal as she opened one of the boxes of thank you creations, spreading them along the carpet in the living room, ready to cover her walls with every piece she could.
Virgin elation is the only way to describe my siren now that she has set herself free. Pure light, a warm heart, and an innocent, child-like wonder about her; she’s magic, possesses mystery, and harbors resilience.