“You think I only said those things because I was drunk?”
“No…uh…not really,” tumbles out of me.
“Then I think tomorrow’s lunch is needed. I don’t want you to ever doubt my feelings for you.”
“Tomorrow then.”
* * *
Ethan is alwaysa sight to see with his laid-back, casual attire he wears with confidence. He oozes bad-boy sexiness without trying. The drive to the restaurant is quiet and unnatural; it reminds me of the week before New Year’s Eve. It seems neither of us knows how to act or what to discuss. The small talk we attempt is almost painful.
He parks at the restaurant, turns to me, and asks, “Why does this not feel the same between us? We have never struggled being with each other.” His brows furrow in worry as he continues to grip the steering wheel with one hand.
I’m not sure how to answer, so I shrug my shoulders.
“How can I fix this? What can I do to get us back?” he asks me seriously.
“There is nothing you need to do. We are fine. I was quiet because…I guess…I’m worried that I’m asking too much of you. I still have a boyfriend, and I am asking you to wait for me to clear the craziness in my head. That’s not fair to you.”
“Just answer me this…” He pauses until I nod in confirmation. “Do you have feelings for me?”
I nod my head again. “Yes, I do.”
“That’s all I need to know. We are fine…more than fine.” He lets go of the wheel and reaches across, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand and placing it behind my neck to pull me toward him. He meets me halfway and places a small, gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. He gives me a devilish smile as he gets out of the car.
15
Just as promised,Caleb is parked outside of my apartment when I drive up. His smile is wide, like he’s hiding something. I have never thought of him so negatively. I blame these unpleasant thoughts on my tangled web of emotions. He pulls me out of my car into a long embrace followed by a passionate kiss. I melt into his kiss as I always do and instantly feel guilty for kissing him.
“I missed you…so much,” he tells me as he pulls away. “I can’t believe you are leaving again.”
“I missed you too, but the girls and I haven’t had a girls’ trip in forever. This used to be one of our rituals,” I try and explain again.
“I know, I know.” He backs away from me, heading for my trunk. He helps me bring my luggage up and sits on my bed, watching me pack while we talk about break. What bothers me about his time on break is the amount of time he spent with Emily. Based on the stories he’s telling me, she was with him every day. Is the green-eyed monster showing? What does it say about my feelings for him?
Lena yells from her room that she is ready. I finish up and am zipping my bag when Caleb grabs my hand and pulls me to stand between his legs.
“I have a surprise for you!” His eyes brighten with a mischievous smile.
“Surprise?” I ask confused.
“Yup!”
“Well?” His excitement, for whatever reason, is grating on my nerves.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night. The guys and I are driving up to hang with y’all.”
“Uh…that’s sweet,” I begin, not wanting to anger him. “But this is a girl’s trip. No guys allowed.”
“But,” he stresses as his eyes narrow, “I’m not just some guy. I’m your boyfriend. Aren’t you excited I made plans to see you?”
Shit, how does he have the uncanny ability to turn situations around on me? “Of course, I’m flattered you made plans, but we all agreed, no boys. Lena and Preston are together, and we told him he couldn’t come,” I lie because he never asked to join.
“I don’t fucking believe this!” He raises his voice as he pushes me away to stand. “My girlfriend would rather go off on a girls’ trip than spend time with me. Here I thought I was being the nice guy and compromising while my friends called me a pussy. And my ‘girlfriend,’” he air-quotes with his fingers, “doesn’t fucking appreciate a damn thing.”
Tears begin to flow at his outburst. His take on the situation makes my guilt explode. I would not be leaving right now if I didn’t have feelings for Ethan.
Lena opens the door and walks in without knocking, looking directly at Caleb. “Don’t you ever talk to her like that again. What part of ‘girls’ trip’ doyounot understand? I didn’t invite Preston, even though he asked to come, and you can’t come either.”