open pill bottles on the table, three different kinds to help headaches.
“Come on.” I help her up and sit her at the kitchen table, crouching beside her chair. “We’re going tonight.”
“Blair—”
“No! We thought we could get by, but you don’t qualify for the assistance program, not since I turned eighteen and you lost your extra boost from having a dependent. Fuck Dad’s debt right now, we can’t let that keep us from the help you need, no matter what it costs.” I take a ragged breath. My voice turns small and hoarse. “I can’t lose you.”
“Oh, Blair. I’m not going anywhere.” Mom brushes my hair aside. “I’m right here with you. If it makes you feel better, we can go to the clinic.”
We’ve talked about this a little. I have money saved up, everything I ever received from Devlin. It’s going toward a clinic in town that has several specialists. I’ve been in touch with them and they recommended her for their center when I explained I was trying to care for her at home, but it wasn’t going well.
“Okay, so I’ll just pack you a bag, grab the copy of your records from the hospital…” I tick off what we’ll need, the mental tally continuing in my head.
Mom stops me from walking off, fingers curling around my wrist.
“What is it?”
A weary sadness is clear in her eyes and the age lines in her face. She strokes the inside of my wrist. “Nothing. I was just wondering when my baby girl got so strong. Most days I feel like you’re the mom and I’m—”
I cup her face and kiss her forehead before hugging her. “I love you, Mom. I’ll take care of you, and everything else.”
“I love you, too, Blair. I’m proud of the woman you’ve grown into. So, so proud.” Mom’s voice cracks and I squeeze her tighter, a telltale sting in my nose and eyes warning of my own impending tears.
As I pack her a bag, I don’t feel strong. I don’t know how Mom can be proud of me. I’m weak, because the only thought running alongside my mental task list is how much I want Devlin to come help me so I don’t have to face this alone. A broken exhale tears from my lungs. I lean against the wall in Mom’s bedroom for a second, feeling the depth of my fears and mistakes.
Once I’ve given myself thirty seconds to feel fragile and vulnerable, I swallow and return to Mom’s side.
The drive isn’t long. The cheery holiday decor going up around Ridgeview for December is at odds with the knots in my stomach. Our destination is in the middle of town.
At the front desk, the receptionist is sweet. She takes Mom into a different area while I fill in forms and fork over my cash. The thick wad makes my hands shake.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Miss Davis,” the receptionist interrupts me as I’m signing the emergency contact form. “You’re short. This won’t cover the clinic’s program we talked about.”
Dread spears into my gut and sinks it down. I rub my forehead. “Uh, okay. How much more…?”
“Without insurance this will cover two nights.”
I keep my eyes from bulging by sheer force. Jesus fuck, that’s a lot of money I handed over.
“Okay.” My voice wavers. “I’ll, um. I’ll be back with the rest in a couple of days.”
Panic surges in my chest. I need money and I need it now.
Forty-One
Blair
There’s no choice. If I don’t do something to get money immediately, Mom’s health is in serious danger.
The drive back to the trailer passes in a blur as my thoughts race.
My options are knocking over a couple of convenience stores near the interstate, hoping they have enough in the register, or the one line I’ve never been willing to cross. At least…not for anyone but Devlin. My broken heart pangs with a twinge thinking about him.
I can’t believe I’m back to the same spot I was in months ago. Except stealing Devlin’s car won’t fly this time.
When I get home, I sit there, digging my nails into the steering wheel.
Time’s ticking, little thief.