I sigh and tug an earbud free. “Let me guess. Colorado State, Utah, and Washington?”
Mom smiles and nods.
Of course. All schools with nationally ranked football programs. One of them Dad’s alma mater.
I don’t tell her about the bookmark on my laptop for Oak Ridge College. Or the brochure in my glove box. Or the filled-in application hidden in the bottom drawer of my desk.
My grip tightens on the sketchpad in my hands. Mom hasn’t ever asked to see what I’m drawing, even though it’s all I do in my free time around the house anymore. I’ve practically lived on the back deck and the dock filling up sketchbooks with my newfound hunger to learn.
It’s like a drug, discovering I’m skilled at more than football.
It’ll open the doors to my dreams.
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll talk to Dad about it.”
Mom gives me a kiss on the head, ruffling my hair like I’m still a kid.
“I can’t believe next year you’ll be in college.”
I shrug, helpless for how to react when she gets like this. Mom leaves and I stick my earbud back in, turning the music up. I flip to a clean page and start a new drawing.
They won’t let me quit the team. If it makes them happy, I’ll finish the year. But I’m doing college on my terms.
It’s been a hard lesson that I can’t have everything I want. But I’ll snatch anything I can take without a second thought. It’s the only way I exert some sense of control in my life.
Twelve
Gemma
After Lucas’ little kidnapping prank, he leaves me alone other than texting me.
It seems most of the student body has grown bored with me, too. The relentless tide of their ire follows the whims of Lucas’ mysterious ceasefire.
It has me on edge. A couple of weeks pass and nothing happens. I wait for Lucas and the goons that follow him around every corner, tensing when our paths cross.
Last weekend I was in town taking photos. I ran into him unintentionally. He sat outside a coffee shop with a small sketchbook open on the table. He had sunglasses on and his head was bent over his drawing. When I first spotted him I thought I could slip away unnoticed, but the next time my gaze skirted in his direction he was gone.
Then he snatched me around the waist, capturing me once more. My usual reaction was quelled when he growled in my ear not to make a scene or he’d make my brother’s life hell next. That shut me up quickly.
To onlookers, Lucas seemed like he was being sweet on me. In reality, he whispered such filthy things in my ear as he trailed his hands over me that my face turned beet red. I was powerless against the heat of unwanted desire coiling around me like a rope. Lucas kissed me on the cheek and grazed the waistband of my jeans. Then he was gone and I was alone.
He can come after me all he wants, but I’ll be damned if he ruins anyone else’s life because he wants to get to me.
Lucas is an inescapable force of control and power. The people in this town light up when he’s around. Am I getting pulled into the orbit fooling them all?
* * *
I trudge back to class from my bathroom break in a funk.
My head has been such a mess since last weekend that I can’t pay a
ttention to Mrs. Ellis drone on about math. She doesn’t pause as I enter the room and return to my seat behind Elena, the girl who latched onto me at Lucas’ birthday party at the beginning of school.
My eyelids grow heavy and I hunch over my notes. Hushed whispers and a stray titter catches the edge of my attention, but I ignore it. A nap sounds fabulous right now. If I just rest my eyes for a few minutes, all will be right in the world.
“Work on the equations on the board for the rest of the period and pass your homework forward,” Mrs. Ellis announces as she finishes up the lesson.
Chatter breaks out amongst my classmates as the rows collect worksheets.