“Game day,” he grunts. “I need to run home to drop stuff off, then I’m heading back.”
“Oh.” I haven’t kept up with his schedule much. An ache echoes in my chest to feel my brother so out of reach when he’s right there across the car. “Thanks for, um. Back there. With Lucas and Carter.”
Alec twitches his shoulder. His face pinches angrily, but I don’t know whether it’s meant for me, Lucas, or himself.
The last time Alec caught me in a compromising position like that, his best friend was on top of me and we were all drunk at a party. He listened to Matt’s story instead of mine, but at least he dragged me out of there. I thought that night would go so differently. Matt and I hadn’t kissed, but we’d been flirting for weeks and holding hands. I thought he’d be my boyfriend soon.
I’d been so wrong. That wasn’t what he wanted me for.
My throat is tight when I swallow and stare out the window at the passing pine trees.
“Why did you stop them?” I have to know. I twist my hands in my lap. “You don’t need to stand up to your friends for me.”
Alec slams his fist against the wheel and I jump.
“Damn it, Gemma.” Alec sighs. “I don’t know. I just did. I don’t...like it.”
“Well, you don’t have to.” I run my fingers through my hair. The memory of Lucas’s hands lingers. “Just let it happen. I can handle whatever they want to throw at me.”
Alec frowns.
“I don’t care about what anyone thinks of me. None of it’s true.”
“It’s still not easy to listen to the shit they’re all saying about you.” Alec grimaces. “Again.”
I bark out a hollow laugh. “Yeah, I bet that’s a real hardship for you. Is it screwing up your game day headspace?”
“Fuck, Gemma, it is!”
I scrub my face and blow out a breath.
“Look. I’m telling you I’m strong enough to do this by myself. I know how much you want to be involved and just enjoy your last year before college. That’s all you, I don’t give a fuck about these people. I don’t want to give in so that the same people who spread rumors about me try to be my friend in another month when it dies down.”
“That’s not how it used to be. You used to care a lot about your friends’ opinions. It’s not like we ran with different people, we were all together.”
“Yeah, well…”
That wasn’t going to happen again.
“Now I’m a loner chick. I’m all badass and shit.” I wiggle my boots as I stick one foot up on the dash. Alec chuckles and shakes his head. “If you try to step in, not only will you ruin the great cred I’ve built up,” I point out sarcastically, winking at my brother, “it’ll cause a rift for you with your team and their friends.”
Alec doesn’t look happy with that answer. Stubborn brat. He can’t have it both ways—either he’s pissed at me or he’s the protective brother, but I’m getting whiplash from his hot and cold act.
“If joining in with the social scene is what you want so badly, then go for it. Don’t let me and my problems hold you back.”
“That’s fucked up. I can’t just let you—”
“Let me? Oh, fartbreath,” I say in a sage tone, using my favorite nickname for him, “you don’t get a say in what I do.”
“But it’s all too close to what happened before. I don’t like the reminder.”
“Wow.” I cover my eyes. “You’re right, I’d totally forgotten about that.”
He grunts at my cold sarcasm.
I snap my fingers. “That must be terrible on you. Poor you.”
“Gemma…”