I swallowed the sudden hand grenade in my throat. “Do you even need to ask, Pimlico?”
She smiled. “You didn’t call me Tasmin.”
“Do you want me to call you Tasmin?”
She paused, thinking it over with a seriousness I hadn’t expected. “I think…one day I might. But not today.”
I didn’t need any more clarification. I understood better than she knew. Not letting her change the subject, I breathed, “Do you honestly think I don’t want you?”
She blushed. “It’s not that you don’t want me. It’s if you can survive me.”
I shuddered at how perceptive she was. “I can’t.”
She froze, doing her best to seem okay with the truth but crushed regardless. “That’s okay…”
It was my turn to cup her face, wincing as my fingers burned from her softness. I choked beneath the weight of confession. “I can’t survive you, Pim. That’s the problem.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “I-I underst—”
“But I can’t survive without you, either. And I know now which of those I choose.”
Tears glittered in her gaze. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” I bent to kiss her.
I didn’t bother looking at the officer or receptionist. I didn’t care we’d brought a damn soap opera to them. All I cared about was kissing her, convincing her, showing her that no matter what happened…we were already bound and doomed.
We’d started this path the moment Alrik emailed me to arrange a meeting. We’d given into this direction the moment I’d draped my jacket over her shoulders and felt something inside my loveless heart that I should’ve bolted from.
And now look where we were.
Fucked.
Well and truly fucked.
But I wouldn’t change a thing.
I wouldn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
My neck ached with tension as I lowered myself the rest of the way and dared kiss her.
Dared to activate the curse in my blood all over again.
Dared to lose myself to her where I could never be free.
But as her lips touched mine and her tongue flickered into my mouth, I knew I would fight myself tooth and nail to deserve her.
As quickly as I’d bestowed the kiss, I pushed her away, curling my fists against the sudden roar for more, more, more.
I would not take more.
I would take that single pleasure and control myself.
Trembling, I held out my hand. “Please, Pim. Come home.”
With an unsteady breath, she slotted her fingers into mine. “I’m already home. I’m with you.”
Chapter Twelve
______________________________
Pimlico
SO MUCH HAD changed yet nothing had changed at all.
The way Elder glared at me was still the same, yet there was a new layer to his glower that not only activated my tummy to heat and prickle but my heart and soul, too. The weight of his stare held so many familiar and unfamiliar things.
He didn’t touch me again as he escorted me from the police station and held open the door to an unknown white sedan.
I gave him a curious look and scooted in, mindful of my tender spots and bruises.
Selix sat in the front seat with a driver. He turned to face me; his long hair twirled in a top knot.
I almost asked where the usual black Town Car was that travelled on the Phantom, but Elder landed beside me with his fists tightly curled by his thighs as if forbidding himself to reach for me.
“Hello, Pimlico.” Selix smiled, eyeing us and noting the tension resonating like bad karaoke.
I didn’t know if that was the first time he’d called me by name—even if it was a false one—but it was as if some ice thawed between us. I’d never felt entirely welcome in Selix’s presence, and I could understand why. His loyalties were to Elder, not to me, and rightfully so.
I respected him for protecting his friend. But at the same time, I was glad that chilliness had melted into an extension of friendship. I could guess why. By leaving, I’d shown I would put Elder’s welfare above my own.
Returning Selix’s smile, I said, “Nice to see you again.”
The driver glanced at me in the rear-view. Selix noticed, shrugging. “This is a temporary measure. Our car is still on the Phantom.”
Why was that any different? The Phantom was moored back in its spot in the harbour…isn’t it?
“Elder here” —Selix cocked his head at the man sitting rigidly beside me—“didn’t give us time to sail back. He said it was urgent.”
“It was urgent. She was in jail, for Christ’s sake.” Elder’s gaze turned tortured as he looked at me. “The thought of you spending time in a cell damn well butchers me.” He took my hand, squeezing it hard. “I’m so sorry, Pim.”
I clenched my fingers around his. “Don’t be. I actually spent most of that time at the hospital, so I was looked after in style.”
His eyes narrowed. “Hospital?” His gaze dropped over me, calculating, assessing. “I see your black eye and the stiff way you move. How badly are you hurt? What bastard did this to you?” His nostrils flared, filling the car with an aggressive vengeance. “I’ll gut him.”