***
Creed
What the fuck noise was that she’d made in her sleep? Sounded like she was severely hurt. She said she was fine but I still kept my eyes on her. That’s how I knew that she’d conned me the first time, she’d never been asleep.
Now I’m a pro at this shit, I did it for a fucking living. It’s one of the ways you survive in the thick of shit. So why would a young girl without a care in the world need to learn how to regulate her breathing to fool anyone that she was out?
The answer had me jackknifing in the bed and hitting the light next to my bed. “Sit up, I know you’re not sleeping.” I hated that fucking wary look she gave me like she was expecting me to hit her or some other foul shit. I studied her bent head for the longest while as I tried to put my thoughts in order.
This wasn’t the easiest fucking thing to discuss for me so I know it was shit for her. But if the fuckery was gonna be fucking with her all night so she can’t sleep, it was best I get the shit over with now. “I want to know about Sal, everything.” My gut twisted and I clenched my fists in preparation for what came next.
Oh yeah he’s fucked. The look that just came into my babygirl’s eyes, said it all. She started to tear up and look distressed, but there was no turning back. “Tell me.” For the first time in her life she shook her head no at me. I didn’t like it, didn’t know I’d have such a strong reaction to it either.
“What?” I tried keeping the sting out of the one word but I did a piss poor job of it. She almost jumped out of her skin but I wasn’t about to apologize. It was best she know now that that shit was a big fucking no-no. “I asked you a question, I expect an answer, don’t ever tell me no again.” Are you trying to help her or scare the fuck out of her asshole?
Funny, I’ve helped my fair share of young girls and some not so young in the years since I’d been stateside. Heard the word no in different variations more than once. I don’t recall ever having this kind of reaction to it. I literally wanted to force the issue, wanted to make her tell me what I wanted to know.
If she could draw that shit out of me for something as little as this, who knows what life was going to be like. I’d probably tan her ass for looking at me sideways. And why the fuck did that shit make my dick hard?
“But you’ll blame me and you’ll leave…” Her voice brought me back from the brink.
“What the fuck?” Is that what she thinks of me? That if she tells me what happened to her that I’d somehow blame her leave her?
Aren’t you the one who left her with them for the past two and a half years, what the fuck do you expect her to think? Fuck, now I’d sworn in front of her, something I never do.
That was a hard fucking blow though, but no more than I deserved. She refused to look at me after that and it was all I could do not to go to her. I wouldn’t risk that shit, not with her being so vulnerable, shit might get out of hand. Instead I asked her to look at me again.
“I’m sorry I gave you the impression that you mean so little to me. I know in the past I listened to others, but that’s only because I didn’t know, I thought…it doesn’t matter what I thought, all that matters is right now.
I need to know what happened from the time I took you there when you were twelve until last night when I took you out of there. Don’t leave anything out, even if you think I might become upset.”
“But you know all of it, aunt Dee said. She always said she told you stuff and you always agreed with her.” I’m gonna fuck that female up no fucking joke. I had to struggle really hard not to show her any of what was in me because she wouldn’t be scared anymore; she’d be fucking terrified.
“I don’t expect you to believe me, no scratch that, I do expect you to believe me. I’ve never lied to you, I might’ve been a blind fool, but I never have and never will be anything but honest with you.” I was trying hard as fuck not to cuss in front of her. For some reason I’ve never been able to, she’s too fucking pure for that shit, but it was touch and go dealing with this fuckery.