I inhale sharply, lifting my head so that I’m looking at him. “What can we do?”
The look on Hudson’s face says it all, nothing. “Baby, we let that darkness take over, but we make sure it doesn’t consume him. If we do, we may as well bury him with your mom. He’s going to want revenge, the thing is, we’re all looking for revenge on the same man, there’s three of us that he’s hurt our women, two where he’s actually killed, but Mia, what he did to you…” He turns his head away from me, “I promised you that I’d get him, that I’d end him. I intend to keep my promise, even if it’s having two men that I care about not being able to exact revenge.”
“Why?” I ask tentatively, unsure of what his answers going to be. “Why wouldn’t you let them do it?”
“Mia, you are mine. What he did to you no woman should ever go through. He did that to you so that he could get revenge on me for some shit I had no idea even happened. He took you, even after everything I had done for him, he raped you knowing that it would break you, and in turn gut me. The man did it thinking that he’d bury me.”
“But he didn’t, none of those things are true.”
Hudson looks at me, his deep brown eyes so dark, so full of hate. “I’m glad that fucker never broke you Mia, that he didn’t bury me but fuck, hearing you say what he did to you. It gutted me, deeper than anything could ever gut me.”
I gasp at his words, I didn’t know he felt that way.
“Mia, I love you, I’m the one that’s supposed to protect you and knowing that I couldn’t, hurts, knowing that he did that to you along with killing your best friend in front of you is on me...”
“No, it’s not!” I cut him off, not believing the words that are coming out of his mouth right now. “If it were the other way around, would you think it was my fault?”
“No, that makes no sense.”
I stare at him. “Well I love you, I’m supposed to protect you…” I mimic the words he’s just said to me.
“It’s different.”
I frown. “How is it different? Because I’m a woman and you’re a man? Do you not think that I can protect you? That I’m not capable of doing so?”
“Yes, Mia, you are a woman. You deserve to be cherished, protected, loved. No one has the right to hurt you. No one has the right to hurt what’s mine.”
“If I’m yours then you are mine!”
“Obviously,” he replies as though I’m stupid.
“So, why can’t I want to protect you? Why can’t I want to make sure nothing hurts you? Why can’t I make sure that the man I love is safe? Why, Hudson?” The tears are close again, I’m so sick and tired of crying.
“Mia…”
I shake my head. “It’s double standards Hudson, it’s not fair, I have just as much rights to protect you as you do me. This relationship is fifty-fifty and that means what we do, we do together. We’re a partnership. God, we’re going to get married. You need to realize that I want the best for you.”
He pulls me toward him. “You’re one of a kind. You’re right, we’re in a partnership, this relationship is even. So you protect me as much as I protect you.”
Relief washes through me. “Good.”
“You’re a passionate little thing.”
I groan. “I won’t be little for much longer. What if I’m having a boy? I’ll be as big as a house, especially if he takes after his dad.”
“We don’t have girls,” he tells me and I laugh at how serious he looks. “Mia it’s not funny. The life we lead, the business we have, it’s why we only have boys.”
I laugh. “I’m sorry, Hudson, I don’t have that power over what gender our baby is going to be. Although, I would be happy with either sex.” I give him a pointed look, kind of mad that he’s wanting a boy, what’s going to happen if we have a girl? Is he not going to want her?
“I know that, I’m just not sure I have the strength to be a father for a girl, nor do I have the ammunition to fight off all the men that are going to be after her if she looks like you.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere. Look, Hudson, how about we cross that path when we reach it? There’s no point in stressing about it right now.”
He smiles, his hands caressing my stomach. He pushes me back so that I’m lying flat on my back, lifting the t-shirt over my head, he kisses my stomach. “God, you’ve made me the happiest man ever.” He throws the t-shirt to the floor.
I smile. “Well that’s good, seeing as you’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s only fair that I reciprocate it.”
“I never thought I’d meet someone like you. With the way my parents were, and the fact that I’m the most powerful man in California, I thought that I too would have to marry just for an heir.”