Page 88 of Not My Fantasy

I slept lightly, waking for a moment to the sounds of Tess and Flea quietly making love. I smiled, any pleasure we could take today was worth it and then I rolled back into sleep.

I woke up early in the morning, to find everyone standing around my bed, staring at me. "What?" I asked. "Didn't it work?" Everyone just stared, eyes wide.

"Go and have a look in the mirror," Tess said finally. So, I did. I went into the bathroom, lit a candle and there in the soft flickering light was someone else altogether. I still had light-coloured hair, but now it was a dizzying array of shades, from platinum to ash blonde, instead of my usual mouse brown. It swished in a great fluid tail as I turned, left and right. Usually, at this time of day, my hair looked like a bloody rat's nest. I'd gone to bed in an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Now I was dressed in an olive green tank, stretched tight over my curse-enhanced bust, a flak jacket over the top, a pair of army pants, body armour and big, black, shit-kicking boots. My hands went automatically to one of the top pockets of my jacket, unbuttoning it and pulling out something long and thick. A cigar? I thought as I put it to my lips. I didn't smoke, and it certainly wouldn't be cigars if I did, but I watched my hands pull a big metal lighter from my pocket and light it as if another person was performing the actions. A strange sense of calm settled in my chest as I inhaled. I should have been coughing and spluttering, but instead, I watched my reflection, eyes narrowed. I had no idea of what was going on here, but right now, I liked it.

I was even more pleased when I walked into the bedroom. On every wall were artefacts, potions, wands and weapons–so many weapons. I moved automatically, sticking knives in my boots and strapping them to my arms and back, shoving pistols down the back of my pants, slinging the straps of rifles across my body along with a bandolier. Grenades bulged in my pockets. I turned around and grinned at the others, "We're going to waste these motherfuckers."

"Yes, I can see that," Tess said with a nervous smile. "We need a plan, this is not what we were expecting. I thought we’d raise an army and instead, we got . . . stuff. Here, I was looking through what we have and I think this will be useful." She passed me a bottle of opalescent blue liquid. I cocked an eyebrow at it. "It's a healing potion, for Gabe."

"Right, right," I said. "Why don't you give it to him and then we can get this show on the road? The prince's men will be here any minute to take the first of us. We need to be ready."

"Ash, it's Gabe. You said you’d been painting him with that healing stuff for days. Don't you want to give it to him?" she asked.

"Hmm? Yeah, I guess, but I need you guys armed and ready. We're gonna need to test some of the magic shit there. No idea what it will do and I don't want any surprises when we go into battle. Bad enough we have untried soldiers."

"We're not . . . y'know what, it doesn't matter," Tess said, wandering over to the loot. I didn't move until I was satisfied they were all arming themselves with everything we had. They'd need it if we were going to make it. While their weapon tech was pathetic here, the prince's men didn't rely on anything mechanical to make the kills for them. They were all speed, accuracy and killing frenzy, which we severely lacked. I looked over my shoulder speculatively at the bottles on the wall. Maybe there were some berserker potions or something. I knelt beside the injured man, scanning his body for signs of illness. Had to be a head injury of some sort because while his body was a mess of yellowing bruises, there was nothing there that looked like it was enough to keep him unconscious. I held the cigar between my fingers and pulled the bottle's cork with my teeth. I gave the swirling liquid a quick sniff, smelt herbal or some shit and then pried the man's lips open, pouring a few drops in. I waited, looking for some sort of signs there was a change to his vitals, then shrugged when it was apparent there wasn't. I wrapped one arm around his chest, hauling him into a semi-sitting position to try and prevent choking and poured a bit more in, massaging his throat to encourage him to swallow.

"We might need to leave him," I said. I watched the shocked expressions spread through the group without comment. Soldiers never liked to abandon one of their own, but we were severely outnumbered, if not outgunned, so reality needed to be f

aced sooner rather than later.

"We have other items here, other stuff that may help him."

"And I'm not saying we shouldn't try it, but in the end, the mission is to get the most people free and clear as possible."

"The mission is to get everyone home, safe and sound!" Tess snapped.

I took a deep drag from the cigar, then exhaled a cloud of smoke. "So, the mission is to get everyone home, safe and sound," I said. “So let's start testing what we have here. I guess we should be watching for drug interactions, though how the hell you do that with this shit," I picked up a swirling-green crystal ball, "I have no idea."

"Natty, do you want to give me a hand?" Tess asked, shooting the cervine creature a look. I got there was some kind of subtext here, but right now, I needed to get my eye on the prize.

"Flea, they said they would be here for one of us girls early. It's about 0700 right now, so they have to be along soon. They're going to underestimate us due to their inherent prejudices against humans and the fact they're coming for women, so I reckon we let them in, disarm and immobilise them, then neutralise," I said.

"Right, so what are you thinking, these?" He held up a pair of handcuffs.

I shook my head and picked up a pair of pistols, screwing on the silencers that came with them. "These. We don't have time to be soft-hearted. These are the enemy, people; we need to take them out and reduce the threat load. Anything we can do to throw the odds in our favour is above board. We don’t have time for the Marquess of Queensbury rules."

“We shouldn’t be killing people,” Flea said, though his face was impassive, his eyes strangely watchful.

“Then we die. There’s no plan I can come up with that doesn’t end with some of the hostiles with a bullet in their brains!”

“You’re sticking with her,” Flea said to Tess. “We’re not going to get separated, but if we do, you stick with her. You’re the only one she’s listening to.”

“I’m listening to all of you. Just because I’m telling you—“ A knock came at the bedroom door. Everyone froze, but I moved smoothly into action. I jammed the pistols into my waistband and took up position behind the door, gesturing for Natty to open it on my signal. I didn’t want Tess there, too easy for them to grab her and go. His eyes went wide and his ears laid flat against his skull, but he went to the door, putting his hand on the doorknob. Another louder knock came and I nodded. He turned the doorknob.

“Come in; the ladies are just getting ready.”

“Not sure that’s needed,” one drawled, sauntering into the room, “with what the prince has in store for them.” The other came in after him, Natty closing the door behind him. The furries’ eyes then settled on all the crap in the room. I moved swiftly, throwing my legs around those of the closest wolf, performing a full body throw, wrapping them around his and dropping him to the floor with my body weight, rolling forward as he lay there stunned, whipping the gun out and putting a bullet in his brain, his body going instantly limp. His comrade blinked for a moment disbelievingly, which was enough time for me to get to my feet and put one in his as well. Blood and brain matter sprayed across the wall and several artefacts, hopefully, they weren’t essential to the mission. The others stood around, hands over their mouths in customary expressions of shock. I had to revise my plan slightly; these were, apparently not experienced killers. They might desire to see their enemies die in that little corner of their hearts, but in reality, that desire to protect the sanctity of life was going to trump that any day. This was a different kind of mission, a one-man rescue against a large hostile force. It was a challenge, but if I was all they had, I had to make sure it was enough.

“We don’t have much time. They were here to take us to the prince’s room and more will return if we don’t make it. We need to get on the move, ASAP,” I said.

“We can’t go until Gabe is better!” Tess said, her voice shrill.

“OK, so what do we have here? What might work?”

“I don’t fucking know! There’re mystical objects out the wazoo here, but is this the eye of Sauron or the healing stone of Camelot? It could be a dragon’s paperweight for all I know. This was not the plan! Most of this wasn’t even in the books I read last night and if they were, I don’t recognise them. Nothing comes with labels or instructions. I just need to know what they do!”

I felt a strange swirling sensation that swept up from my toes before flooding my whole body. It was a little like standing up too fast. The cigar disappeared from my lips and when I reached out to pick up one of the wands lying on the floor; I noticed I was now dressed in a flowing gown that looked like it had been spun from moonlight and stars. “This here be the wand of Obin, the great grey wizard of the Northern Marches. His strength ‘twas in his explosive spells, he could conjure walls of flame, great gouts of lightning—”


Tags: Sam Hall Book Lover Fantasy