“And what do you want?”
Brandon sat down at the table, watching me closely, the only person who was. He smiled when I noticed him, but it wasn’t necessarily a happy thing.
“What I’ve always wanted,” I said, putting the cup down on the saucer. “What’s going on? Who are the black wolves? Why did he bite me? Why did he fight to get to me? What’s behind the ‘Sanctuary’ fence? You know, all the usual questions one might ask when transformed from human to something else when not drunk on dick.”
Slade shot a look at Finn and then sat back down, nodding. “The heat’s abating. The ‘ole pre-frontal cortex is coming back online. Of course, you have questions, love, and we’ll answer every single one of them. As soon as we feel like you’re safe. Finn, get Kelly on the line.”
“No.”
Slade frowned then looked at me. “No?”
“No, tell me first. Something always gets in the way. Kelly, the heat, the matching hall. I want to know, Slade, now. I want my dog, my stuff, my fucking life back...” Silence reigned as my voice cracked. “And if not that, then I want to know what the fuck is going on. Who are the black wolves? I’ve had visions of them.”
“What?” Finn stiffened. “You’ve never told us that.”
“Sucks, not being given all the information, doesn’t it?”
“What did you see?”
“I saw the...white Tirians, how they came from the women who were raped by the men. I saw those crystal spearheads and the gate and the first alpha...” My voice trailed away as I saw the guys looking at each other. “What?”
“None of us have ever seen or heard what you just described. It could be a women’s thing. Not all knowledge is shared with the men,” Brandon said. “I could get my mum to come over.”
“Sounds good. Tell her I’ll be a lot more hospitable this time.”
“She understood, but sure.”
“Jules, from what you’re saying, you know more about him than we do,” Aaron said. “The only intel we get is the dark wolves are the unfriendlies. The gate, that’s locked away in the Sanctuary,” Aaron said. “We stop all creatures that can pass through from coming into this realm. Most come for dubious reasons. There are resources here that they can’t get back home, there’s land, minerals and human wrought goods. Incursion rates always spike around the full moon, but we’ve been given no intel about them wanting women. That was why we were so ill-equipped to deal with your attack. We only bite other Tirians in dominance displays and sex, never anyone that can’t turn. Doc had no idea how to deal with a human infected with our venom.”
“So who would know?” Everyone’s eyes slid around to Finn.
“I’ll get Kelly on the phone, organise a meet. Who do you want sitting around the table?”
This was the first time anyone had asked me a question like that. Before this, people were invited into the house, and just stayed until I said otherwise. I hadn’t said otherwise, hadn’t even considered it. My body was calling the shots, and it wasn’t ready to disregard any warm form that might bring it pleasure, except for rude pricks like Jack. Brandon, I wanted him there. His hand was on my arm, his grey eyes taking in every one of my micro-expressions. He was good for me, I realised. Things felt right when he was around, he seemed to get what I needed to adjust to being a part of the Sanctuary. I reached over and squeezed his hand, and a small smile appeared on his face.
Slade sat next to him. He was trying to stay calm, but his eyes were slightly too wide, his face a little pale. My straight talker, he’d tell me what he thought, whether I wanted it or not. In some ways, it was reassuring to see someone as confident as him as shaken by the black wolf as I was.
Finn was pulling out his phone, and I watched the play of sinews in his forearm as he brought up Kelly’s contact, guessing it was only me that saw the slight shake there. His shoulders had started to tighten. I got up before I even thought about it, placing a hand on either side and pressing my fingers into the big muscles there. His eyes darted up and over his shoulder. For someone who was so confident and ready for action, there was something almost shy in his gaze. Finn had looked after us, managing my transition, the house, the mating hall. He was always level headed and
prepared, which was why, as my hand slid down and into the front of his shirt, I liked watching his fingers go limp, dropping the phone to the table-top, and feeling him lean back against me. My fingers circled his nipple, I heard his breath hitch as the door opened and Shaun returned. While I stroked Finn, he and Aaron discussed what they would do to fortify our place, to keep us all safe, geared up to make calls, get equipment, take action.
This is what he’d wanted, the black wolf. He was locked up, caged and constrained. He had no power, so he’d taken what he could, our peace of mind. He’d ruffled feathers, sowed seeds of fear and doubt. I straightened up, letting my fingers trail along the muscular column of Finn’s neck.
I wasn’t in Melville anymore, not working at the diner, I wasn’t even human. That Julie had died when she was bitten by the black wolf. So who was I now?
I looked around the table at the guys, only Finn quiet under my hands. They all talked to and over each other, sharing ideas, trying desperately to work out how to keep us safe. These very different, very beautiful men cared for me and each other, would do anything to protect us. I felt a hard lump rise in my chest, something I would never swallow down.
“C’mon, let’s go,” I said.
Heads turned, fingers paused in the process of making calls, conversations stopped. For a moment, old Julie quailed in the face of all that undivided male attention, but Jules shouldered her aside quickly, accepting their regard as her due.
These are your mates, my Tirian said.
Maybe. I don’t know yet, but I want to.
They look upon you with hunger. You can smell their desire. They strive to protect and care for you. For now, these are your mates. Enjoy it, relish it, surrender to it, for now. When you know you care enough to do the same for them, you will know they are your pack.
Perhaps it was this advice that prompted what came next.