“I understand. We can’t force the change. The one that could… he’s not on our side of the gate. He would take her with him once she was healed, and we’d never see her again.”
“I get the importance of females to your kind, but seriously, at this point you don’t think this would be a better option than what’s happening now? She’s dying, and we’re letting her.”
“A lifetime of rape and forced child bearing? If we’re wrong and the change doesn’t happen, then we can look at more desperate options. You have your instructions, Doc, follow them.”
I was riding a wolf across a fantastic landscape. It was a blur as we moved, but I saw more things shift as we travelled than was normal. It was like we were bounding from one realm to the next, and each time the wolf’s paws hit the ground there was something different: icy tundra, an old growth forest, a field of sunflowers, a rocky mountainside. Then finally, we stopped. We stood on the crest of a hill, looking down at the valley where a village had been built. It was a small cluster of houses, smoke curling from the chimneys, chickens pecking the soil around them. “Watch,” the Tirian said. As if on fast forward, I saw a rapid flicker of movement, people coming out and going inside the houses, hunters bringing home meat, farmers bringing home crops, children playing, women hanging out the washing. Then it drew dark, and I wasn’t sure if it was because it was night time, or because of what happened next. Great armoured men swept into town, crushing everything in their path. Thankfully I only saw glimpses, but children’s throats were slit, women were raped and men slain, fighting hopelessly with spades and hoes. Afterwards, there was a smoking ruin and a tiny group of tattered people, standing lost in the wreckage. Slowly, I saw the town get rebuilt. Houses grew from shelters, crops were planted, cows and chickens returned, children were born and families grew. Then the sky became dark.
“Oh, no!” I murmured, hand going to my mouth. Another group of men, different armour and with different colouring, came through and did the same. The view of the village sped up until I saw the cycles, rebuild, rape and pillage, rebuild and rape and pillage. Until one day, the raiders who came looked different. Taller, they didn’t wear armour but the skins of wolves, the skulls perched on their heads like helmets. They slashed at the inhabitants with curious spears made from a crystalline material that had been knapped to a series of razor sharp points. They killed the children and the men, and left them lined up in a gruesome tally of their days work, but they
left the sobbing women alive for a different purpose.
I wish this part went faster, the constant grinding rape. I saw flickers of it only, yet it was too much. Mouths stretched in screams as man after man took his fill. I saw blood and semen running down the legs of the women when they staggered to their feet, only to be knocked down again. The women grew big with child, huddling in rudimentary structures against the cold, the men now slower moving, less interested in brutality as they had achieved their goals. They then left en masse, weapons shouldered, disappearing like smoke into the forest beyond, leaving their victims to survive the winter alone. Their limbs became thinner and thinner as their bellies grew, many just resting listlessly for hours inside a primitive lean to, staring glassily into space. One woman struggled to her feet, staggering over to the fire to put more kindling on it, the fire fighting to survive in the whipping wind. The extra wood only smothered the remaining flames, and it died away to a wisp of smoke. She looked at it, completely aghast, unable for the moment to believe this bad luck. She dropped to her knees, her face a mask of despair, the pain so raw there I wanted to shut my eyes and pull away. The Tirian, forgotten, pushed me with its muzzle to pay attention. I didn’t want to watch her die, her pain reminded me of…
Her hands clasped together as she emitted a heartfelt prayer, tears sliding down her cheeks. I didn’t know what she was saying but I watched her lips move rapidly, like she was pouring out her soul to her god. I expected that to be the beginning of the end, for her to slowly starve or freeze to death. But instead, a woman appeared before her, tall and wearing a gown of faded grey green, with long reddish brown hair. She dropped to her knees, her dress unsullied by the ashy sludge and surrounded the woman’s hands with hers. The pregnant woman’s eyes went wide, she babbled something, then moved her hand to her mouth as if to stop more from coming out. It didn’t work, soon she was gesturing to the village, to the other women and then to her belly. The red-haired woman bent down, touched her stomach for a moment and then shook her head. The pregnant woman’s gestures grew wider, more desperate, her fingers stabbing in the direction of the other women, but the redhead shook her head again. Defeated, the pregnant woman’s head dropped down and slowly she collapsed in on herself. The red-haired woman looked the village and the victims over critically, and then tapped her finger to her lip. The only sound I’d heard since we came here, a wolf howl, sounded in the distance. This seemed to give the redhead an idea, and she swept her arms out in a great gesture, turning to make sure she included all of the women in it. Every single one of them shifted into a smoke wolf beast, sorry, a Tirian, though their bellies remained swollen. The Tirians shifted restlessly, taking in the changes for what felt like a second, and then the far off wolf howl called again. Now a pearly white Tirian, the praying woman’s head jerked up, then she yipped at her pack mates, and they left the ruins in a flowing mass.
What came after was dizzying. Flash after flash of human children being born from their Tirian mothers, the women returning to human form, now sleek and well fed, to care for their children. New villages were built and children grew. When raiders came, the women instantly shifted into Tirian form and tore the flesh from their bones, teeth cutting through armour like butter. Now the raiders were lined up in a neat line, as the women spoke to their bloody faced children. As they grew, it became apparent there were more male children than female, and that it was the women who ran the village. The original praying woman acted as leader, right up until she became grey and wizened, a horde now of young men and women at her feet. When she died, her badge of office, a crystal necklace that looked much like the spear head of the wolf raiders, was passed to the next woman. Time sped up, showing woman after woman after woman taking the necklace and the position, bands of men standing with one woman, children milling at their feet. This started to flick by so fast, my view almost zooming out as I saw many villages with the same cycle of women stepping up and leading their people. Then, I saw the gate.
Made from rough-hewn stone, looking much like the smaller standing stones in Europe, a woman and several of her men sniffed around it in Tirian form, jerking back when a blue light flared between the rocks. The white Tirian, the female, touched the blue with her nose and… I blinked and saw that I had returned to the original plain where I first met the Tirian. Though now when I looked over my shoulder, I could see in the distance the set of standing stones they had gone through. “So that’s how they got into my world,” I said, “through a gate?” The Tirian nodded. “And that’s how I came to be. Someone from here, like that, was one of my ancestors.”
“She needs to be brought out of the coma in three days.”
“It’ll take longer than that to reduce her dosage safely…”
“You don’t get it, Doc. Whatever health emergency you’re predicting will be resolved once she shifts.”
“You… Fine, if this is what you want, I’ll leave you the instructions. I am done with this. This, this was handled badly, all of it. The policy of keeping people, particularly the girls, in ignorance has to change. Better that you have them bolt out into the world beyond, than this. I’ve kept my peace in the past, as there’s been no real casualties but--”
“Your concern is noted. Go back to the surgery after you’ve written the instructions. We both thank you for all your hard work.”
“Don’t be tempted to drop the tranqs too early. She can die from seizures before the full moon, easily.”
“We will follow your instructions to the letter.”
“Doc, I’ll stay with her, right to the end. Slade or Brandon can switch with me when I need to sleep. We’ll do what we can, around the clock, I promise.”
“If that’s what you’ve decided, I’ll leave the instructions in the hospital office. Good luck.”
“I think--”
“Just wait… OK, she’s gone into the office. Go on.”
“I think I should give her some of my blood. It could help the transition, and keep her going until the full moon.”
“And it will bond her to you, almost guaranteeing you as the leader of her pack. Apart from the riot that will incite with the men, I’m not sure tying you to the girl without her permission is wise. She’s had blessed few choices since she’s come here, and I am loathe to take more from her unless we have to.”
“We’ll monitor her, but I want latitude if it comes to it.”
I was on the back of my Tirian, and we were moving like the wind. I whooped as I felt the rush of the breeze on my face, my wolf beast covering ground like a racehorse on steroids. I gripped my thighs tight around her ribcage, but it didn’t slow her down. Finally, she stopped in a stand of trees. I slid off, my toes burying themselves into the spongy, mossy turf. She jerked her muzzle, drawing my attention to what lay beyond. I dropped down into a crouch, peering past the tree trunks. There was a beautiful waterfall, the water clear as glass, pooling in a sandy hollow. Perhaps my wolf wanted to swim? I went to get to my feet and walk towards it, but my beast kept me down with a paw to my shoulder blades. She indicated I should sit and watch. I settled down against the cool soil and waited.
He moved so quietly, I hadn’t realised he was there until he appeared from between the trees. It was the black Tirian, the one that hurt me, I’m sure. His eyes gleamed red, and he was huge, his fur a furious plume of smoke. He made his way down the slope and to the water with precise steps, dropping a bundle on the bank and lowering his muzzle to drink. His head jerked up, I watched the drips fall from his muzzle, and he scented the air, taking in long whuffing breaths. I froze, not that that would prevent him from smelling me if the wind went the wrong way, but I couldn’t stop it. I remembered those knife long claws and those razor teeth… I looked up at my Tirian and started to shift, wanting to get on her back and run and run… She looked down at me and shook her head. We were in luck, he seemed to almost shrug it off. Instead he walked into the pool, submerging his body, and when he popped his head up to take a breath, he was a man.
I studied the broad, well-muscled shoulders and long, wet black hair. He looked much like the guys at the Sanctuary, the same tight, hard bodies, but his had seen more action. White scars raked down his torso, partially covered by spiky black tattoos. He scrubbed at his skin, then scraped his hair back from his face, walking towards the bank, water running down in rivulets across his washboard stomach. I didn’t care how fucking cute he was, he nearly bloody killed me. Once he’d finished, he stepped free of the pond, reaching down into the bundle for a cloth to dry himself and some clothes to put on. I was forced to watch his toilet by the heavy paw of my Tirian, though I didn’t know why. Not until he reached down and retrieved a familiar looking white skull. I watched him with my heart in my throat and my heartbeat loud in my ears as he placed it on his head, tweaking it until it sat just so, before he looked up and met my eyes.
19
My eyes flipped open wide, and I sucked air into my lungs as if I was dying. The pain was back again, a sudden surprise, as while dreaming, I was freed from all of that. I couldn’t seem to get enough breath in, it was like my lungs were made of lead, my chest unable to expand.
“Jules! Jules! You’re OK, you’re OK.” I saw Finn’s face swim into my field of vision. “Just take slow breaths for me, in and out. Get her a drink of water!” he snapped at someone beside the bed. Brandon arrived back, holding out a glass of water with a trembling hand. “Little sips, Jules,” Finn said. I tried, but my throat felt as if it would close around it, drowning me. I coughed and most of it splattered on Finn, and I noted the blood that came out along with it.