Somehow, I was standing on a plain of grass. It spread out towards the horizon until it shifted into some bluish coloured hills. I heard a slight hiss and looked down to see the grass ripple as a light breeze swept through it. Where the fuck am I? I heard something move behind me and spun around to see another of those smoke wolf beasts standing before me. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said, jerking back from it and ending up on my knees. I scrabbled away but it merely stood there, watching me with curious glowing green eyes. When it became apparent it wasn’t going to chew me up right now, I stopped where I was and took a closer look.
It seemed to have the body of a normal wolf, just much, much bigger. Its fur was indistinct, though. In places, I could see the strands of grey ticked fur clearly, and in others, it looked as if the fur was made of smoke, wisping away and dissipating into the air. It didn’t have the usual greenish yellow eyes of a wolf, instead it regarded me with eyes that seemed little more than glowing lights. Noticing that I was no longer retreating, the wolf settled down onto the ground, eyes on me.
“What the fuck are you?” I whispered.
I didn’t see the wolf’s mouth move but I distinctly heard someone say, You.
“What’s happening! She’s fitting again!”
“Febrile convulsions. She should have taken those fucking drugs! The antibiotics aren’t working, we need some of the little used ones they save for resistant strains, but god knows if they’ll sell them to us, or we can get them in time. There’s every chance she’ll go septic.”
“We need to keep her alive until the full moon. It will take care of it.”
“Forgive my concern, but you don’t know that. I can’t plan her care assuming she’ll turn.”
“She’ll turn. I feel it.”
“Are you sure what you are ‘feeling’ is real? Or is it just wishful thinking? How the hell did the dark one get past the guards anyway? She should have had a guard on her at all times.”
“We haven’t had a serious incursion for years. That’s what convinces me that she’ll turn. They know, we know. Just keep her alive, nature will take care of the rest.”
18
“Hello,” I said to the creature. This was a dream, I’d worked out. Every time I fell into REM sleep, I came back here and the wolf was waiting.
Hello, it replied, sort of. I never caught its lips moving or anything like speech from the wolf, but it replied nonetheless. Its voice sounded kind of hollow and echoey.
“So, I’ve never tried to have a conversation with an animal before. Well, I’ve never expected a response. That usually means you’re crazy. Maybe I am, maybe that’s why I never wake up… Anyway, what are you?”
Tirian, it replied.
“And what’s a Tirian when it’s at home? Or is that your name?”
It tilted its head to look at me and then said again, You.
“OK, I get it, you reckon you’re this hitherto unknown part of me. You’re not human, you don’t look like an actual wolf so…”
I am Tirian.
“Oh great, circular logic. Look what is a Tirian? Any Tirian?”
It chuckled, the fucking smoke monster chuckled. Tirian is… smoke wolf beast? Its green eyes scanned mine, as if pulling my mental image of it directly from my brain. Not accurate.
“I get that, that was my placeholder description until I got an accurate one. You obviously know and are supposed to be part of me, so how about you explain?”
Yes, I will show you. The ’Tirian’ got to its feet and looked over its shoulder meaningfully.
“You want me to follow you?”
No, ride.
“She’s looking better.”
“God almighty… She’s not better, she’s sedated as much as I dare, just short of killing her. She screams whenever she regains consciousness, the entire time. This is why I went into veterinary science, this is bloody cruel. She’s not improving. She’s not going to improve. We need to discuss amputation. Her hands, and one of her feet.”
“That’s not going to happen. The full moon is only days away.”
“I’m not sure if she’ll make it. Can’t anyone force the change on her? If I have to bury this girl because of this… consider it my last act of employment. This is not what I signed up for.”