I rolled my eyes, “Seriously? That’s your rationale for fucking you and your mates and going unquestionably to meet my unknown fate? That I am horny? I’m always horny, have been since I got here, which is weird.” I thought about it for a moment, I wasn’t usually this turned on, even back at high school and full of hormones. “That’s nothing special. Ever since I came here, I feel like I’m a cat in heat.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Every guy in the room froze, then Macca came over and dropped to his knees, burying his nose into my stomach. “What the fuck are you doing?” I cried but he held me close in an iron grip, taking several long sniffs, lower and lower. “Fuck off!” I said, and shoved him away. He got to his feet and turned to the others, shaking his head. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re not a dog! You want to sniff my butt next?”
“What’s going on?” Brandon said, arriving at the front door.
“This dickhead sniffed me!”
Brandon looked at Macca with a disbelieving expression, “You can’t have gone that long… If she was, we would all know, so keep your nose to yourself. So, Julie, you get anywhere with these guys? No? You wanna come with me?” I nodded. “Catch ya next Saturday, fellas,” he said, waiting for me to walk out and then letting the sliding door slam shut behind us.
“You OK?” Brandon asked as I got back into the car. Bud had gone with apparently, keen to keep finding new smells to sniff. That said a lot about Brandon’s character, that my dog was prepared to leave me and go with him.
“I…don’t know.”
“Look, don’t worry too much, if you can. I know it stresses you out, not knowing, but if my word’s worth anything, I can tell you it will be OK. What’s coming? I’ve never seen it hurt or harm anyone, emotionally, physically or spiritually, if that helps.”
“It’s not a big orgy, is it?”
He laughed at that. “No, not unless you want it to be. If that’s what worrying you, I can say it’s not in any way sexual.”
“Strangely, that’s both a relief and a disappointment.”
“Jules, you gotta let that patriarchal bullshit holding you down go, love.”
“Really, that’s your response? Feminist theory?”
“Think about it,” he said. “You have two different types of people in a heterosexual relationship. One of them is big and strong and muscly, and capable of one orgasm before needing half an hour or so before he can go again. The other is often soft and curvy and sweet.”
“Yeah, I get the idea.”
“And can, but not always, have orgasm, after orgasm, after orgasm, if that’s what she wants. Why would the big muscly one use all of his power, verbal, political, social, whatever, to demonise the women who want to exploit that delightful biological quirk to its fullest? She’s a slut, a whore, she has a mental illness, she shouldn’t be able to keep custody of her kids, or get a job unless it’s on her back. It’s fear, love, that the all consuming hole that provokes so much pleasure in him is not wholly satisfied by him. He is not enough.”
“You’ve been reading some Freud at the library, haven’t you?”
“But seriously, I don’t know how you can’t see it. Men have used their control over women for so long, you girls keep perpetuating it without any interference from them. Wives don’t want to lose their husbands, so they toe the line. They raise their daughters to toe the line so they’ll have a chance of marrying, to have their own daughters and perpetuate the cycle. It’s mothers who perform female circumcision on their daughters, not fathers.”
“Really, you don’t think that’s a bit of a jump from my reluctance to fuck those seven guys back there?”
“Fuck them, don’t fuck them, doesn’t worry me. Have sex with no one here, if you like. That’s the point, if you like. The attention you are getting right now is largely because you’re ambivalent. You’re into it sometimes, and not others. Guys don’t know whether to approach you or not, whether you want it or not. Because there’s so few women here, they’ll keep asking, just in case you say yes.”
“I have said yes, twice.”
“And everyone knows that, which of course, means hope springs eternal. If you seriously don’t want what anyone’s got to offer, say no a bunch of times and people will stop asking, I promise. But if the only thing holding you back there was inherited sexual repression… well, you should imagine that you are on some kind of exotic tropical island, where the culture is very different to your own, where it’s expected that you will operate using a new set of sexual mores.”
“Are you hoping to talk yourself into my bed? Is that it? Did Slade say he talked me around, and you thought to try the same?” I said, looking at him through narrowed eyes.
He laughed. “Nope. Can’t say I’d be sad for the chance but…” This earned me a long look, and when his eyes went back to the road, he reached down and adjusted his dick to what was apparently a more comfortable angle. “There’s a lot of guys rushing to get into your pants. Me, I’d like us to be friends. Your hot, hot, very willing friend, if you decide to choose me. But if you don’t, still a good friend.” I laughed at that. "As your friend, I’m just saying, don’t let a bunch of dead, old guys stop you from having fun. You have power here, a lot of it, don’t be afraid to use it.”
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
“Spiderman?”
“The French Revolution, I think.”
“Well, whatever. Just treat the people you are with respectfully, and you should be fine.”
14
We sank into silence until we reached the next house. The guys were awake there thankfully, but similarly underdressed. It had been warm last night, but I was comfortable in my jeans and top, so I wasn’t sure why they were stripped down that far. They looked very interested when I dumped their beer and food on the counter, but I stopped them cold with a question about the full moon. Brandon just smiled and shook his head as each guy backed right off after that.