On the way to his house (I didn’t consider it my home any longer) I thought about being secretive and stealthily working my way in, but I didn’t see the point. I threw open the front door. Arthur scurried out.
“Surprised to see me? Or did you think Julia was going to come back with my head on a platter,” I asked angrily. Arthur held up his hands.
“I was just taking precautions. You mentioned some affinity for vampires that was troubling. I would have done the same for everyone. Now, are you going to tell me what happened? Where is Julia?” he asked, worry entering his voice.
“Where do you think she is? She’s no match for me. She attacked me, under your orders, and I defended myself. Are you surprised?”
“I suppose I shouldn’t be. And the vampires?”
“We dealt with them. Thanks to the ones you think are a threat. They helped me overthrow their masters. And now they’re under my protection.”
“Elsa,” he said sternly, “you know that’s wrong. I can’t allow you to carry on like this. It’s not safe. You can’t trust them, they’re vampires.”
“Oh, like I can trust you? Like my Aunt trusted you?”
He barely even flinched. He’d always been asking me about my dreams and now I realized it was because of this moment, because he was afraid of what I would learn about him. Now I knew, and I didn’t feel anything but contempt.
“Yes, she trusted me, and if she had listened to what I said she would have been fine. But she didn’t, and she met a tragic end.”
“Tragic? Arthur, you haven’t asked me if I’ve had a dream lately,” I said. That had an effect on him. He tensed and blinked at me. His face reddened, and the uncertainty that appeared in his eyes lasted a couple of moments.
“Yes,” I said, “I relived her final moments, and they were tragic indeed. Stabbed with her own stake, having to watch the man she loved walk away. Having to watch you walk away. Tell me Arthur, why did you do it? Why did you betray her? I should have known it earlier. I had my suspicions. I should have listened to my instinct, but I told myself that I was being stupid. I said there wasn’t any reason why you would have done that and I was just being paranoid for my own good. But I wasn’t being paranoid. You killed her, and all this time you’ve been keeping it hidden from me. Why?”
I thought he was going to passionately defend himself, or attack me. Instead, he collapsed in the nearest chair and put his head in his hands, weeping desperately. His shoulders trembled and the house was filled with his howling. I didn’t move from where I was sitting for I didn’t want to risk getting so close to him given I’d seen what he had done to my Aunt, but the emotion he showed seemed genuine.
“I didn’t want to do it,” he heaved. “I loved her like I’ve never loved anyone before. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Watchers and Slayers are supposed to be professional, nothing more, but your Aunt and I…we fell in love. We even talked about adopting you after your parents died, but we both agreed it was too dangerous. We hid our affection from the council, but they still found out, and your Aunt was plagued with these terrible dreams. She knew there was something off, something different, and she wasn’t going to stop until she found out. She was like you, tenacious and determined. She found the book. She found the truth.”
“The truth that Vampires and Slayers aren’t always at each others’ throats?”
He nodded.
“We didn’t understand it at first, but the more we looked into the past the more we found more instances of lines being blurred between Slayers and Vampires. The rules that we obey are not written into the fabric of the universe like the council would have us believe. There’s more grey area, and some vampires are not the evil creatures they seem to be.”
“So what happened?”
“Your aunt wanted to take it to the council. She wanted to share it with the world and tell everyone that we were going about this the wrong way. There’s a reason why Slayers are kept isolated. If they share their memories they’ll all realize that something is different. At the moment the council keep them apart and it’s our job to try and tell you that you’re just mistaken, but some people keep looking. They can’t let go, but we can’t let the truth out.”
“Why not? Would it be so bad?”
Arthur looked haggard. I’d never seen him so distraught before. All the bad memories were being dredged up. I knew now why he never seemed to sleep, because he was always haunted by the fact that he had killed the woman he loved. It also explained the torn out page. My aunt must have found it herself and taken it to prove to Arthur what she was seeing, but instead of keeping it safe he took it from her and then took her life.
“Don’t you understand? If we begin giving vampires rights the whole world will be in chaos. There are only a few good ones, and they don’t deserve our time. They’re an abomination, and can you imagine what would happen if a vampire mated with a Slayer? No, no, no, we can’t allow that to happen at all. We’re at war, and we must remain vigilant until the war ends. It would be all too easy to give up, but we must be strong. We had to keep it hidden. The council know what they’re doing and they
decreed that this was all to be kept secret. Vampires are a scourge on the world and we cannot do anything to encourage their procreation. They’re evil. They always have been and they always will be. We all have our jobs to do, even if they’re unpleasant sometimes, but we still have to do them because it’s our solemn duty.”
I got the sense he was echoing what the council had told him to do.
“So you killed her. For the sake of protecting this lie.”
“I had to,” he croaked. His voice was dry and bitter. “The war comes above everything. We have to fight against evil. We can’t allow it to continue. Your Aunt wanted to ruin that. If she had just agreed to stay quiet I wouldn’t have had to do what I did, but she couldn’t stay there. She couldn’t just let things be. I was given my orders, and I carried them out, because that’s what a good soldier does. She threatened our wellbeing, threatened the war, and I wish I hadn’t because I loved her, but I had to. I had to.”
“No,” I said definitively, “You didn’t. You chose to, because you and your council don’t have the imagination to think of other possibilities. You can’t imagine that there’s some other way out there. You just want power. You’re just as bad as the master vampires themselves. All you want is to rule over your little kingdom and anyone who threatens you is out, and what’s worse is that I think you really believe you did something noble, that you made some kind of sacrifice. Well, you didn’t. You killed an innocent woman whose only crime was to love you, and then you brought me into it as well. I know you were talking to the council about me. What were your plans for me, were you going to kill me as well?”
“I didn’t want to,” he groaned. “You reminded me so much of your aunt. But when you started having the same dreams I had to let them know. I had to tell them that you were a threat and I was cautious. I was afraid that you’d find out the truth. I knew that if you did you’d never trust me again and there has to be trust between a Slayer and a Watcher. There has to be. To fight evil we had to have trust.”
“You ruined all of that because of what you did. You say you wanted to fight evil, but you became evil. You gave in to fear. You did what you knew was wrong because you were too scared to stand up to the council. I pity my Aunt for loving you. You weren’t worthy of her.”
Arthur looked utterly pathetic. He was a defeated, broken man. All his sins had caught up with him and now there was no escaping the dark reflection that looked back at him in the mirror. He averted his gaze from mine and stared into space. He looked down at his hands, and I wondered if he was remembering his blood-soaked flesh after he’d murdered my Aunt. My hatred wasn’t even for him though; it was for the council who decreed these rules and tried to control us. My blood boiled for them, and I would have my revenge.