When I first learned about my father and his other family, I always imagined what I’d do if I met them. I always knew I’d find it hard to talk to Viktor and his mother. Zakh or Malik didn’t feel like my competition but Viktor and Mira did.
Now Mira is standing before me.
In my eyes, she’s the woman who had the life my mother should have had. All her diamonds and pearls should have been Mom’s. All the times Mira went to fancy restaurants, or dressed up for a party or some high end prissy function, it should have been my mother in her place.
“I apologize for coming here so early, or at all. I don’t expect you to welcome me into your home.” She pauses for a beat and takes a quick breath as if to calm herself. “I hope I didn’t disturb you.
“It’s fine, I was just in the shower.”If only it was just that.
“I promise I won’t take up too much of your time. Leif told me how busy you are. I wanted to talk to you before I fly out to Russia.”
“What about, Mrs. Volkova?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not here to ask you to reconsider anything. I’m so ashamed of how my husband treated you and your mother. Whatever you do is understandable.” Her frail hands shake, so I decide to tone down my fury.
“Then why are you here?”
“Is it okay if we sit?”
“Of course.” It’s probably for the best because she looks like she might fall over and shatter if we stand any longer.
I motion to the leather sofas and we sit opposite each other. Me in the armchair and her in the double seater.
“I wanted to ask you to confirm something Leif won’t. His silence speaks louder than anything but I just want to hear the words.”
With that said, I know exactly what she’s going to ask me. There’s only one thing that no one has talked about.
It wasn’t relevant at the time, but it is now. Forher. If I’m right and I think I am,
it’s to do with my father’s fidelity.
A topic I’d rather not talk about.
“What is it?” I ask the question, but I can see she knows I’ve guessed.
Her throat works and she swallows hard, then her trembling hands come together. “I know I have no right to ask you this but I just wanted to know a few things. I um…I assume you know why your mother waited twelve years to tell your father about you.”
“Yes, I do know.”
“Will you tell me?” Her voice shakes and I actually feel sorry for her. She’s clearly another woman who made the mistake of loving my father.
“Maybe you really should speak to Leif about this.”
“Leif is a decent man who’s known me for years. He knows I’m hurting and he won’t hurt me anymore. But you don’t know me and I don’t expect you to feel anything for me. Sometimes it’s better to hear the truth from someone like that. So please, tell me.”
I guess I’m going to have to do it then. “They were having an affair.”
The moment I say the words, her pale eyes cloud like the sky on a stormy day, then tears stream down her cheeks faster than an untamed river.
I was sixteen when Leif told me about my parents’ affair. That was the gritty part of my past he wanted to leave for last.
He told me my father would see my mother every time he had business in Russia.
I never saw him, or them together, but I’d had suspicions long before I was twelve. I remember her acting like she did whenever she had a new man in her life.
The last time they saw each other was serious.
Serious enough for my mother to tell me who I really am and who my father was. She wanted me to meet him.