Could that be it?
Is that what broke her? The loss of her mother?
That’s what broke me.
Nothing will be able to rid my mind of the horror I experienced of watching my mother die. Nothing. I can still see the life of the living leaving her eyes.
I wonder if Anastasia has memories of her mother like that too. The terror of seeing the death of a loved one.
If she does, then we have something in common and misery loves company.
I sense there’s more to her, though. More secrets.
Secrets she might have shared with her belovedViktor.
Does he know what lies beneath the layers of her porcelain skin that I want to peel away?
One thing I haven’t been able to negate is her love for him, and his for her. I could see he loves her just from looking at him.
Does it make me a petty bastard that I want to take everything from him—including the woman he loves—just because I can?
Anastasia shakes her head and rolls onto her side, trapped in her mind.
Trapped in what I’ve decided must be a nightmare.
Another touch of humanity sparks inside me and I step away, deciding to give her some reprieve. I won’t add to her darkness tonight.
Perhaps my action is a kindness a Sidorov doesn’t deserve, but I do it anyway, retreating to the room I used when I was a boy.
Everything will happen in its own time, but it’s so much better when you’re the master of your own destiny.
ChapterTen
Anastasia
Istare at the rustic red brick wall before me, tapping the bricks with my fingertips to that song in my head.
Run and catch, the meadow’s calling you home…
I tap one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
On the eighth count I blink, then I’m running through the meadow. A bird flies high in the sky, and the sun is bright and warm on my skin, tempting me to chase it. I run toward the sun but it disappears, and blackness swallows me whole.
It’s so dark, I dare not breathe. I’m too scared that I’ll disappear. But I walk on the unseen path before me, terror ravaging my soul.
Darkness fills my mind like a thick fog of smoke, suffocating me with the
ominous feeling of imminent doom.
Patches of light flicker in the darkness, and I see it—the crest with the wolf and the moon engraved into it.
I try to get closer, but shadow monsters rush out of the darkness, howling and gnashing their teeth like evil souls trapped in the pits of hell.
Faceless faces push out of the darkness and a million screams wrap around me.
Blood pours from the sky. And a knife plunges into my throat, stabbing me again and again and again.
I scream, jumping out of the hellish nightmare, right into Ehlga’s grasp.