“I love you, Desmier Volkova.”
He smiles. “I know.”
ChapterForty-Three
Anastasia
Leif drives down the country road at a medium pace, keeping his gaze ahead but still looking around the woodland area.
Desmier and I are in the back seat of the car. He’s holding my hand in his lap the way he has been since we left Boston yesterday afternoon.
We stayed at a beautiful hotel in L.A. last night I would have loved to enjoy. But the ominous feeling in my heart forbade me.
We’re on Highway 74. The route that will lead us to the lake house. One of the holiday homes owned by the Butyrskayas, and the first on Leif’s list to visit. We drove onto this road about half an hour ago, and I think we’re close to our destination. We’re meeting Lucca Dyshekov there. He owns the property now, and Leif says he still uses the grounds to train his falcons.
My stomach is in knots of anxiety and fear. Desmier’s touch is the only thing anchoring me to this world, keeping me sane.
“We’re nearly there.” Leif looks back at us and returns his gaze to the road. “We’re probably about five minutes away.”
“I’m not sure what to do when I get there,” I say.
“Just look around. Have a good look around the place and see if anything triggers a memory.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
If nothing happens, I’ll feel terrible for dragging them across the country for nothing. But if it does…
Well, I don’t know. I have no idea what I’ll remember. Or if I can. I fear that part of my brain is damaged beyond repair.
If that’s the case, I’ll have to move on. But something in my heart tells me to keep holding on. The nightmares were gone for years before they returned. As if they’d never left. That has to count for something.
Desmier runs his thumb over my wrist and smiles.
“Just stay calm.” His voice is gentle. He leans forward and kisses me, then continues to stroke my wrist. “This is only an idea we’re testing out. Don’t put any pressure on yourself.”
I nod, but it’s too late. The pressure is on, and I can’t remember how to be calm.
If these people are my family, I want to remember them, and I want to know what happened to them.
Within exactly five minutes, we approach the meadow. My lungs clench at the sight of the lush green grass speckled with buttercups and daisies.
As I stare and stare and stare, that feeling from the other day when I stood before the wall worms its way into me. That feeling of familiarity. Of knowing you’ve been somewhere before. Even if you can’t remember.
That’s what I feel, and it calls to me. It screams to me the way I think it used to when I was little.
“Stop the car, Leif.” My voice echoes my desperation.
“What is it? Did you see something?”
“I feel something.”
Leif stops the car, and Desmier releases my hand so I can get out.
The moment I step out of the car and the air fills my lungs, the familiarity deepens. I move, walking slowly at first, then faster and faster until I’m running through the meadow.
Desmier follows me.
We stop in the middle of the field, and it feels so good to feel like I fit somewhere.